Sunday 12th May 2013, Central Park Malvern
Central Park 1 - Middle Park 8? (Who can really tell? I say 8, Rod says 7, yet the official FFV result politely says 6! Is this a morale-saving mercy rule i'm unaware of? if so, how condescendingly sweet!)
MIDDLE PARK HAND CENTRAL PARK 'MOTHER' OF ALL HIDINGS
As i sailed past Central Park at 12.20 en-route to Paul Davies place to collect team sheets, i must confess to being a bit alarmed at the site of 15 or so freshly ironed yellow and black kits going through their pre-match drills.
Had i forgotten the frenetic, professional pace and preparation of Thirds Football?
Sure, this was my first game for the season, and standing between it and my last appearance at this illustrious level was a memory-testing, yet brain reformatting Las Vegas trip.
(Slushed: this plastic cowboy boot starring 17 shots of vodka was the only 'boot' polished during Tim's trip)
Or, maybe these fine specimen (gay quote much?) were warming up for a 12.30 kick off on the adjacent pitch? Wrong again.
This was an unbeaten side doing what they do every week - preparing to remain unbeaten. Conversely Central Park scrambled to get their act together until the 11th hour in readiness for the smack-down that lay in waiting.
Not even the sentiment of Mother's Day would spare Rangers from an unforgiving Middle Park who raced out of the blocks with repeated attacking wave.
After a couple of near misses, the Middle Park winger took as long as he liked to trap a wide ball, take a step back, pick his intended target, select which panel of the ball he'd strike, yawn (oh wait that was me writing this), and finally whip in a cross toward one of two unmarked team mates to head home nicely.
As Rod and Steve argued about the regrettables that couldn't be changed, Middle Park went up a gear. Their midfield knocked the ball around at will, enjoying the sight of the Central Park lads running themselves ragged to get into the contest.
Another couple of chances was all Middle Park needed to add a second, again raffling off who'd finish as a hapless Tim very quickly sunk further into the depths of post holiday blues.
Rod then succumb to a stubbed toe (he did attempt to explain some Latin sounding condition but i was too busy retrieving balls from the back of the net), and the ambush continued. Young Tom started to get into the game more and Ian Loh did a sound job under immense pressure out wide. It was the injection of Central Park's own Ned Kellly - another Tim, who provided much needed run and counter-attack in stemming the flow.
But even Ranger's better performers couldn't do it on their own, and an unfortunate free kick provided Middle Park with yet another chance to expose the lax marking as Tim in goals allowed the cross to be met for a point blank range header goalward. 3 nil after 20 - getting ugly.
As if Middle Park weren't doing well enough on the back of their own ability, Central Park aided them further with an agonisingly frustrating pattern of handing back possession on the rare occasions they had it in their keeping. Against a fitter and more skillful team, Rangers continually chanced their arm with a long ball game baring little or no reward, Middle Park winning most contests and quickly launching further attacking raids.
The pinball wizardry continued, this time a volley that detoured between Rowland's legs and into the roof of the net for a 4th.
A moment's respite for the Burke Roaders finally arrived, as Tom muscled his way into the game, winning possession and making a fabulous run down the left touchline and around the final defender. Cool beyond his years, Tom's neat pass found its way across goal for a rampaging Steve to finish a brilliant attacking movement. A positive way to round an otherwise diabolical Central Park opening half. 4-1
A goal and the return of half time oranges would be the only fruit of Central Park's labor. However it was short lived - a goalkeeping blunder would give Middle Park's own John Rambo clone the satisfaction of a 5th, although a much competitive encounter ensued. Ian continue to run his guts out, Tim Charters did likewise, often going the solo route toward goal.
Alex B's cameo as a linesmen then ended as he gallantly answered the call to arms from his deathbed, donning the blue and white and trying his flem-laden guts out for Rangers.
This was to be Middle Park's day though, and late in the match they fired in two absolute rockets competing for goal of the year contenders.
Probably not an 8 goal better team, but definitely an 8 goal performance.
Best: Ian Loh/Tom
The Rest: Tim C, Tim (Ned Kelly), Steve, Rowland
Christy Brown My Left Foot Award (make some room in cabinet for another trophy this year): Tim N - for THAT goalkeeping blunder gifting Rambo a goal.
Central Park 1 - Middle Park 8? (Who can really tell? I say 8, Rod says 7, yet the official FFV result politely says 6! Is this a morale-saving mercy rule i'm unaware of? if so, how condescendingly sweet!)
MIDDLE PARK HAND CENTRAL PARK 'MOTHER' OF ALL HIDINGS
As i sailed past Central Park at 12.20 en-route to Paul Davies place to collect team sheets, i must confess to being a bit alarmed at the site of 15 or so freshly ironed yellow and black kits going through their pre-match drills.
Had i forgotten the frenetic, professional pace and preparation of Thirds Football?
Sure, this was my first game for the season, and standing between it and my last appearance at this illustrious level was a memory-testing, yet brain reformatting Las Vegas trip.
(Slushed: this plastic cowboy boot starring 17 shots of vodka was the only 'boot' polished during Tim's trip)
Or, maybe these fine specimen (gay quote much?) were warming up for a 12.30 kick off on the adjacent pitch? Wrong again.
This was an unbeaten side doing what they do every week - preparing to remain unbeaten. Conversely Central Park scrambled to get their act together until the 11th hour in readiness for the smack-down that lay in waiting.
Not even the sentiment of Mother's Day would spare Rangers from an unforgiving Middle Park who raced out of the blocks with repeated attacking wave.
After a couple of near misses, the Middle Park winger took as long as he liked to trap a wide ball, take a step back, pick his intended target, select which panel of the ball he'd strike, yawn (oh wait that was me writing this), and finally whip in a cross toward one of two unmarked team mates to head home nicely.
As Rod and Steve argued about the regrettables that couldn't be changed, Middle Park went up a gear. Their midfield knocked the ball around at will, enjoying the sight of the Central Park lads running themselves ragged to get into the contest.
Another couple of chances was all Middle Park needed to add a second, again raffling off who'd finish as a hapless Tim very quickly sunk further into the depths of post holiday blues.
Rod then succumb to a stubbed toe (he did attempt to explain some Latin sounding condition but i was too busy retrieving balls from the back of the net), and the ambush continued. Young Tom started to get into the game more and Ian Loh did a sound job under immense pressure out wide. It was the injection of Central Park's own Ned Kellly - another Tim, who provided much needed run and counter-attack in stemming the flow.
But even Ranger's better performers couldn't do it on their own, and an unfortunate free kick provided Middle Park with yet another chance to expose the lax marking as Tim in goals allowed the cross to be met for a point blank range header goalward. 3 nil after 20 - getting ugly.
As if Middle Park weren't doing well enough on the back of their own ability, Central Park aided them further with an agonisingly frustrating pattern of handing back possession on the rare occasions they had it in their keeping. Against a fitter and more skillful team, Rangers continually chanced their arm with a long ball game baring little or no reward, Middle Park winning most contests and quickly launching further attacking raids.
The pinball wizardry continued, this time a volley that detoured between Rowland's legs and into the roof of the net for a 4th.
A moment's respite for the Burke Roaders finally arrived, as Tom muscled his way into the game, winning possession and making a fabulous run down the left touchline and around the final defender. Cool beyond his years, Tom's neat pass found its way across goal for a rampaging Steve to finish a brilliant attacking movement. A positive way to round an otherwise diabolical Central Park opening half. 4-1
A goal and the return of half time oranges would be the only fruit of Central Park's labor. However it was short lived - a goalkeeping blunder would give Middle Park's own John Rambo clone the satisfaction of a 5th, although a much competitive encounter ensued. Ian continue to run his guts out, Tim Charters did likewise, often going the solo route toward goal.
This was to be Middle Park's day though, and late in the match they fired in two absolute rockets competing for goal of the year contenders.
Probably not an 8 goal better team, but definitely an 8 goal performance.
Best: Ian Loh/Tom
The Rest: Tim C, Tim (Ned Kelly), Steve, Rowland
Christy Brown My Left Foot Award (make some room in cabinet for another trophy this year): Tim N - for THAT goalkeeping blunder gifting Rambo a goal.
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