Sunday 19th May 2013, Central Park Malvern
Central Park 3 - Elwood City 6
"...and if you build it, they will come" - Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams.
Sadly, Central Park's own 'field of dreams' quickly morphed into a sh*t filled nightmare as they produced their best opening hour of football this season, only to dish up one of the more bizarre second half fade outs in Rangers history.
Elwood, who probably predicted an easy outing, came up against a switched on Central Park looking to atone last week's shambolic output in search of their first win of the year.
'Build it', Rangers did, as a short and sharp passing game backed by more on-field talk than a Toast Masters seminar, quickly created chances against the highly fancied Elwood City.
But it wasn't all beer'n'skittles, as disaster struck in the opening 5 minutes, Paul Nelson's Celtic flavored hoop socks obviously taking the ire of an Elwood heavy who studs up ended Nelson's afternoon prematurely.
You could look it either way - we were down to one option for linesman, or no substitutes. As Central Park powered on, it was the curse of the other (i.e.- theirs) linesman who would play the bigger role. Our old Elwood henchman (more on him later) foe, so offside that he was more or less tending to the roses in the greenhouse up the western end of Central Park, found himself lumbering towards goal. A well placed and unchallenged shot found Tim napping at the near post for the opener. A sheepish looking Elwood linesman felt the chastising of the Rangers back four (c'mon, play it straight buddy, you effed up....). 1 nil.
Unlike days gone by, the lads didn't drop their heads any and went harder in search of an equalizer. Central Park's midfield was on fire, and running Elwood ragged. Camped into enemy quarters, Nick 'Canonball' Jones swatted opponents away like flies on an Elwood beach, regularly finding both space and Tom Davies who dazzled all with his infant footwork. Elwood had the odd dalliance into Ranger's half, but when the fortress of Richard, Rowland, Alex P and Kars couldn't snuff things out, the ensuing shots barely skimmed the grass on their passage to Tim's safe keeping.
If Elwood were sh*tting themselves at Ranger's attacking flare, they were experiencing enema's in spades when it came to defending corners. Tim C whipped them in hard and fast, with only good fortune retaining Elwood's lead. Another ripping corner was then met by a soaring Richard Owen who blasted a header into the top corner for the long awaited goal.
Central Park then put their foot to the floor, as Alex B and Gaz dominated up front against a tiring and rattled Elwood defence. Rangers' dangerous long throw in's were a feature, an absolute doozy audaciously volleyed by Tom denied only by the post. Somehow, i repeat SOMEHOW, Elwood survived the half not conceding a second goal.
The halftime mood was buoyant, probably for the first time this season - and with good reason. The break seemingly the only thing to sparing Elwood from being 3 or 4 goals down. A confident Rangers were keen to resume from where they left off, and it only took 2 minutes for the next moment of magic. Another run by Alex ending with a sweet pass across the face of goal for Hendy to finish, momentum shifted Central Park's way a tad more.
With their hard work paying dividends, it seemed unfortunate that one too many risky passes in Ranger's own would end up costing the lads a vital possession. Elwood, with an extra man in the midfield were able to surge forward, a scrambling Central Park attempted to clear the area. With a degree of good fortune, a sudden Elwood shot took a nasty deflection that was good enough to beat a diving Tim for a sodding second goal.
Central Park knew that they were playing the better football, and continued to ramp it up. Tim C, looking to make amends for his pricey turn over moments earlier switched on the afterburners and embarked on one of his famous solo missions. Skipping past the 43rd red shirt in sight, Tim then pulled out the protractor and fired in a third from an angle i'm pretty sure hasn't been discovered yet. 3-2 Central Park up.
And then it happened.What, exactly, i can't be sure. Although something that was later pointed out to me was Elwood's endless queue of substitutes. With Alex succumbing to injury, conversely Central Park were left with a petty 11, but given the team form, going on with it should really have been feasible.
Elwood's cranium bearing cold-war looking villain (who was sent off in this fixture last year) was able to tap in a third after another Central Park error in their own half. The same 'friendly' gent then did his unsporting best, putting the muscle on Tim as he attempted a kick out. Tim - assuming incorrectly that keepers are a protected species reacted in kind. In his broken English, Dolph (let's call him Dolph), upped the affection and gave Tim some verbal curry and threw his elbow into Tim's shoulder just to round out the courting ritual (i have blue bruises - boohoo). Both players received a yellow card which seemed somewhat astonishing.
(Yes, yes - i'm aware we did the same gag on one of last years blog's, same player too i think.... 'if the shoe fits' right?!)
With Dolph well contained by new boy Alex the enforcer, Elwood seemed to wake from their slumber and wrestle their way back into the match. Kar's received a yellow card pretty much cos the ref likes the colour of it, and the tide continued to turn Elwood's way.
To their credit, Elwood, who've given some of the better teams a hard time this year, showed us why as they clicked into gear. Central Park couldn't hang on and match Elwood's new found vigor, as their classy finishing netted a few more and left Ranger's with no answers.
Plenty of dash and promising football from the Malvern lads, who were probably caught short on the subs front and minus a couple of regulars.
Best: Canonball Jones
The Rest: Everyone put in a solid 90!
Christy Brown Award: Paul Nelson - you may just have bookended Worlds Fastest Goal with Worlds Fastest Injury Departure....
Central Park 3 - Elwood City 6
"...and if you build it, they will come" - Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams.
Sadly, Central Park's own 'field of dreams' quickly morphed into a sh*t filled nightmare as they produced their best opening hour of football this season, only to dish up one of the more bizarre second half fade outs in Rangers history.
Elwood, who probably predicted an easy outing, came up against a switched on Central Park looking to atone last week's shambolic output in search of their first win of the year.
'Build it', Rangers did, as a short and sharp passing game backed by more on-field talk than a Toast Masters seminar, quickly created chances against the highly fancied Elwood City.
But it wasn't all beer'n'skittles, as disaster struck in the opening 5 minutes, Paul Nelson's Celtic flavored hoop socks obviously taking the ire of an Elwood heavy who studs up ended Nelson's afternoon prematurely.
You could look it either way - we were down to one option for linesman, or no substitutes. As Central Park powered on, it was the curse of the other (i.e.- theirs) linesman who would play the bigger role. Our old Elwood henchman (more on him later) foe, so offside that he was more or less tending to the roses in the greenhouse up the western end of Central Park, found himself lumbering towards goal. A well placed and unchallenged shot found Tim napping at the near post for the opener. A sheepish looking Elwood linesman felt the chastising of the Rangers back four (c'mon, play it straight buddy, you effed up....). 1 nil.
Unlike days gone by, the lads didn't drop their heads any and went harder in search of an equalizer. Central Park's midfield was on fire, and running Elwood ragged. Camped into enemy quarters, Nick 'Canonball' Jones swatted opponents away like flies on an Elwood beach, regularly finding both space and Tom Davies who dazzled all with his infant footwork. Elwood had the odd dalliance into Ranger's half, but when the fortress of Richard, Rowland, Alex P and Kars couldn't snuff things out, the ensuing shots barely skimmed the grass on their passage to Tim's safe keeping.
If Elwood were sh*tting themselves at Ranger's attacking flare, they were experiencing enema's in spades when it came to defending corners. Tim C whipped them in hard and fast, with only good fortune retaining Elwood's lead. Another ripping corner was then met by a soaring Richard Owen who blasted a header into the top corner for the long awaited goal.
Central Park then put their foot to the floor, as Alex B and Gaz dominated up front against a tiring and rattled Elwood defence. Rangers' dangerous long throw in's were a feature, an absolute doozy audaciously volleyed by Tom denied only by the post. Somehow, i repeat SOMEHOW, Elwood survived the half not conceding a second goal.
The halftime mood was buoyant, probably for the first time this season - and with good reason. The break seemingly the only thing to sparing Elwood from being 3 or 4 goals down. A confident Rangers were keen to resume from where they left off, and it only took 2 minutes for the next moment of magic. Another run by Alex ending with a sweet pass across the face of goal for Hendy to finish, momentum shifted Central Park's way a tad more.
With their hard work paying dividends, it seemed unfortunate that one too many risky passes in Ranger's own would end up costing the lads a vital possession. Elwood, with an extra man in the midfield were able to surge forward, a scrambling Central Park attempted to clear the area. With a degree of good fortune, a sudden Elwood shot took a nasty deflection that was good enough to beat a diving Tim for a sodding second goal.
Central Park knew that they were playing the better football, and continued to ramp it up. Tim C, looking to make amends for his pricey turn over moments earlier switched on the afterburners and embarked on one of his famous solo missions. Skipping past the 43rd red shirt in sight, Tim then pulled out the protractor and fired in a third from an angle i'm pretty sure hasn't been discovered yet. 3-2 Central Park up.
And then it happened.What, exactly, i can't be sure. Although something that was later pointed out to me was Elwood's endless queue of substitutes. With Alex succumbing to injury, conversely Central Park were left with a petty 11, but given the team form, going on with it should really have been feasible.
Elwood's cranium bearing cold-war looking villain (who was sent off in this fixture last year) was able to tap in a third after another Central Park error in their own half. The same 'friendly' gent then did his unsporting best, putting the muscle on Tim as he attempted a kick out. Tim - assuming incorrectly that keepers are a protected species reacted in kind. In his broken English, Dolph (let's call him Dolph), upped the affection and gave Tim some verbal curry and threw his elbow into Tim's shoulder just to round out the courting ritual (i have blue bruises - boohoo). Both players received a yellow card which seemed somewhat astonishing.
(Yes, yes - i'm aware we did the same gag on one of last years blog's, same player too i think.... 'if the shoe fits' right?!)
With Dolph well contained by new boy Alex the enforcer, Elwood seemed to wake from their slumber and wrestle their way back into the match. Kar's received a yellow card pretty much cos the ref likes the colour of it, and the tide continued to turn Elwood's way.
To their credit, Elwood, who've given some of the better teams a hard time this year, showed us why as they clicked into gear. Central Park couldn't hang on and match Elwood's new found vigor, as their classy finishing netted a few more and left Ranger's with no answers.
Plenty of dash and promising football from the Malvern lads, who were probably caught short on the subs front and minus a couple of regulars.
Best: Canonball Jones
The Rest: Everyone put in a solid 90!
No comments:
Post a Comment