WARNING: GRAPHIC PHOTOS SOME MAY FIND DISTRESSING
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Monday, May 27, 2013
Match Report: Thirds Vs South Yarra
Sunday 26th May 2013, Fawkner Park, South Yarra
South Yarra 6 - Central Park 0
When less is more.
Writers block, the boil on the arse of any aspiring Dickensian. Even the unpredictability of Third Division Sunday football can usually offer plenty to talk/write about. Be it heralding golden moments, or (as so often is Central Park's case) comical musings dreamt up by a loss - i guess it all depends on just how you lose.....
After fielding a competitive team, the boys put in a mostly uncompetitive showing as Central Park hit a low not seen since the great 'oranges and book keeping' line-in-the-sand debacle of 2012 - a performance so bad that intervention in the form of vitamin C and MYOB worthy organisational restructure was called upon to salvage the meaning of t-e-a-m.
Central Park's Round 6 performance was less than nothing to write home about. So i'll keep it to the basics and save the better material for a more read worthy blog.
Here go's!
THUMBS UP!
- to Paul Davies for helping us out with some of the Master's 'unused' legs
- to our opening half hour on top, much like last week if we can play like that for even an hour we'll be in a winning position!
- to Ed, who actually managed to fire off some shots on goal and ran all day
- to James for busting his gut for the side, winning every contest in a well beaten team
- to Colin for quickly turning a 'cameo' into a lead role - on one leg
- to Canonball Jones' long range effort from 40 yards when the chips were down, nothing to lose!
- to phantom Dave, for coming down to cheer on the lads - smashed abductor and all. Hurry back!
- to Stuart for giving us all a chuckle and his nomination for the Christy Brown (and miss of the year!) with a magnificent 'clearance' off the line..... for South Yarra!
- To Tim in goals for playing deaf with an ear infection - hey, it's not like there was much talk to hear of anyway! (ohhhhhhh what a little bitch!)
- to the lads for giving as good as they got in the 'cheap shot' stakes - it showed SOME grit and heart
and that's about as many positives i could come up with....
but finally.....
THUMBS DOWN!
- to a truly woeful second half performance, after yet another promising start,we conceded two goals that spoke more of our lack of concentration than their skill level.
- to Tim's 'butterfingers' in goal as we conceded a 5th - it was a back to the Central Park dark ages for a moment there
- to the Richmond carpark (also known as Punt Road) that Steve and Tim C got themselves trapped in pre-match. Their mojo just wasn't the same afterwards
- to the South Yarra subs giving stick to Rod for officiating whilst running the line, hardly necessary boys?
- to Central Park's laziness and lack of intensity. A great Central Park man named Ivan once rightly observed: "we're not only losing the 50/50 balls, but the 60/40, and sometimes even the 70/30 ones too!" How evident that was yesterday.
- to the sounds of silence: why so quiet so often!??!
- to the amount of turn-overs conceded out of defence. Golly we make life hard for ourselves at times
- to the numerous occasions that mean-spirited South Yarra defenders delayed play when Central Park received a free kick in a scoring position. Really? running off with the ball in such a lopsided contest?
- to the aficionado for handling blatant South Yarra jersey grabbing and kamikaze style tackles by warning BOTH captains at half time (yes, i'm aware that Stu's attempt at an amputation is an ironic flaw in my argument....)
- to Kar's for playing a peach of a through ball straight to a South Yarra marks-man to drill the final goal - VERY nearly played yourself into Christy Brown Award contention!!!
- to Central Park for putting the cue in rack with 30 to go, it's been a while since we've shut up shop like that
- to the Lord Jesus Christ for not giving the South Yarra No. 6 a left foot
- to the coaching staff at South Yarra for playing No. 6 on the left, WTF!?!?
Yeah ok, harsh but I could spew a whole lot more, just as we all could - but instead will just ask everyone to ponder what they want from the remainder of 2013 as they stare longingly at this image for a moment:
Oranges and a bit of housekeeping last year, so what's it's going to take this season? I'm all ears boys.
Best: James - by a mile, worked his arse off all afternoon for a team of virtual strangers
The Rest: Ed, George, Canonball, Colin
Christy Brown: Ok Stu, you've just edged out Kar's for this weeks water-cooler moment with 'that' unmissable miss/South Yarra clearance!
South Yarra 6 - Central Park 0
When less is more.
Writers block, the boil on the arse of any aspiring Dickensian. Even the unpredictability of Third Division Sunday football can usually offer plenty to talk/write about. Be it heralding golden moments, or (as so often is Central Park's case) comical musings dreamt up by a loss - i guess it all depends on just how you lose.....
After fielding a competitive team, the boys put in a mostly uncompetitive showing as Central Park hit a low not seen since the great 'oranges and book keeping' line-in-the-sand debacle of 2012 - a performance so bad that intervention in the form of vitamin C and MYOB worthy organisational restructure was called upon to salvage the meaning of t-e-a-m.
Central Park's Round 6 performance was less than nothing to write home about. So i'll keep it to the basics and save the better material for a more read worthy blog.
Here go's!
THUMBS UP!
- to our opening half hour on top, much like last week if we can play like that for even an hour we'll be in a winning position!
- to Ed, who actually managed to fire off some shots on goal and ran all day
- to James for busting his gut for the side, winning every contest in a well beaten team
- to Colin for quickly turning a 'cameo' into a lead role - on one leg
- to Canonball Jones' long range effort from 40 yards when the chips were down, nothing to lose!
- to phantom Dave, for coming down to cheer on the lads - smashed abductor and all. Hurry back!
- to Stuart for giving us all a chuckle and his nomination for the Christy Brown (and miss of the year!) with a magnificent 'clearance' off the line..... for South Yarra!
- To Tim in goals for playing deaf with an ear infection - hey, it's not like there was much talk to hear of anyway! (ohhhhhhh what a little bitch!)
- to the lads for giving as good as they got in the 'cheap shot' stakes - it showed SOME grit and heart
and that's about as many positives i could come up with....
but finally.....
THUMBS DOWN!
- to a truly woeful second half performance, after yet another promising start,we conceded two goals that spoke more of our lack of concentration than their skill level.
- to Tim's 'butterfingers' in goal as we conceded a 5th - it was a back to the Central Park dark ages for a moment there
- to the Richmond carpark (also known as Punt Road) that Steve and Tim C got themselves trapped in pre-match. Their mojo just wasn't the same afterwards
- to the South Yarra subs giving stick to Rod for officiating whilst running the line, hardly necessary boys?
- to Central Park's laziness and lack of intensity. A great Central Park man named Ivan once rightly observed: "we're not only losing the 50/50 balls, but the 60/40, and sometimes even the 70/30 ones too!" How evident that was yesterday.
- to the sounds of silence: why so quiet so often!??!
- to the amount of turn-overs conceded out of defence. Golly we make life hard for ourselves at times
- to the numerous occasions that mean-spirited South Yarra defenders delayed play when Central Park received a free kick in a scoring position. Really? running off with the ball in such a lopsided contest?
- to the aficionado for handling blatant South Yarra jersey grabbing and kamikaze style tackles by warning BOTH captains at half time (yes, i'm aware that Stu's attempt at an amputation is an ironic flaw in my argument....)
- to Kar's for playing a peach of a through ball straight to a South Yarra marks-man to drill the final goal - VERY nearly played yourself into Christy Brown Award contention!!!
- to Central Park for putting the cue in rack with 30 to go, it's been a while since we've shut up shop like that
- to the Lord Jesus Christ for not giving the South Yarra No. 6 a left foot
- to the coaching staff at South Yarra for playing No. 6 on the left, WTF!?!?
Yeah ok, harsh but I could spew a whole lot more, just as we all could - but instead will just ask everyone to ponder what they want from the remainder of 2013 as they stare longingly at this image for a moment:
Oranges and a bit of housekeeping last year, so what's it's going to take this season? I'm all ears boys.
Best: James - by a mile, worked his arse off all afternoon for a team of virtual strangers
The Rest: Ed, George, Canonball, Colin
Christy Brown: Ok Stu, you've just edged out Kar's for this weeks water-cooler moment with 'that' unmissable miss/South Yarra clearance!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Match Report: Masters Vs Ashburton
Sunday 19th May 2013, Central Park Malvern
Central Park 1 - Ashburton 4
Sentiment counts for nothing as Rangers off-season bedfellows take the points when it counts
After the wild wind last Sunday today's game was played in perfect conditions.
The game started brightly and with a healthy number if passionate tackles as befits a derby.
Ashy's early attacks were well contained with their efforts limited to hopeful crosses. At the other end Steve and Joe were edging the midfield battle but the final finish was eluding us.
Then Ashy scored with an individual run from outside the box dodging three tacklers before tucking into the back of the net.
The midfield battle continued with Ricky, Ant and John playing some classy football and linking well with Lars and Simon. Only Ashy's goalkeeper keeping them ahead.
Having had a quiet game the ref decided to make himself the centre if attention. A half chance was well blocked by Kostas, fell to Ashy's striker who kicked it into Richard who was less than a yard away. Somehow the ref gave a penalty. 2-0
We continued to test the keeper up until the half but ended up unlucky to be two behind at the break.
We started the second half well and had patches of great possession and patience which bodes well for the rest of the season. Pressure on the Ashy defence was maintained and a well struck shot was blocked only for the ref to again intercede and award a dubious penalty. Maybe he wanted to even things up - Lars tucked it away and we were back to 2-1
The remainder was a blur - we had a half dozen corners and free kicks, hit the woodwork twice and saw more fine saves from their keeper.
At the other end Ashy were playing on the break and scored a third and then a fourth from another penalty.
Not much in it but on the day going down 2-0 quite harshly and not taking our chances proved to be the difference.
Time to turn things around against South Yarra.
Central Park 1 - Ashburton 4
Sentiment counts for nothing as Rangers off-season bedfellows take the points when it counts
After the wild wind last Sunday today's game was played in perfect conditions.
The game started brightly and with a healthy number if passionate tackles as befits a derby.
Ashy's early attacks were well contained with their efforts limited to hopeful crosses. At the other end Steve and Joe were edging the midfield battle but the final finish was eluding us.
Then Ashy scored with an individual run from outside the box dodging three tacklers before tucking into the back of the net.
The midfield battle continued with Ricky, Ant and John playing some classy football and linking well with Lars and Simon. Only Ashy's goalkeeper keeping them ahead.
Having had a quiet game the ref decided to make himself the centre if attention. A half chance was well blocked by Kostas, fell to Ashy's striker who kicked it into Richard who was less than a yard away. Somehow the ref gave a penalty. 2-0
We continued to test the keeper up until the half but ended up unlucky to be two behind at the break.
We started the second half well and had patches of great possession and patience which bodes well for the rest of the season. Pressure on the Ashy defence was maintained and a well struck shot was blocked only for the ref to again intercede and award a dubious penalty. Maybe he wanted to even things up - Lars tucked it away and we were back to 2-1
The remainder was a blur - we had a half dozen corners and free kicks, hit the woodwork twice and saw more fine saves from their keeper.
At the other end Ashy were playing on the break and scored a third and then a fourth from another penalty.
Not much in it but on the day going down 2-0 quite harshly and not taking our chances proved to be the difference.
Time to turn things around against South Yarra.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Match Report: Thirds Vs Elwood City
Sunday 19th May 2013, Central Park Malvern
Central Park 3 - Elwood City 6
"...and if you build it, they will come" - Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams.
Sadly, Central Park's own 'field of dreams' quickly morphed into a sh*t filled nightmare as they produced their best opening hour of football this season, only to dish up one of the more bizarre second half fade outs in Rangers history.
Elwood, who probably predicted an easy outing, came up against a switched on Central Park looking to atone last week's shambolic output in search of their first win of the year.
'Build it', Rangers did, as a short and sharp passing game backed by more on-field talk than a Toast Masters seminar, quickly created chances against the highly fancied Elwood City.
But it wasn't all beer'n'skittles, as disaster struck in the opening 5 minutes, Paul Nelson's Celtic flavored hoop socks obviously taking the ire of an Elwood heavy who studs up ended Nelson's afternoon prematurely.
You could look it either way - we were down to one option for linesman, or no substitutes. As Central Park powered on, it was the curse of the other (i.e.- theirs) linesman who would play the bigger role. Our old Elwood henchman (more on him later) foe, so offside that he was more or less tending to the roses in the greenhouse up the western end of Central Park, found himself lumbering towards goal. A well placed and unchallenged shot found Tim napping at the near post for the opener. A sheepish looking Elwood linesman felt the chastising of the Rangers back four (c'mon, play it straight buddy, you effed up....). 1 nil.
Unlike days gone by, the lads didn't drop their heads any and went harder in search of an equalizer. Central Park's midfield was on fire, and running Elwood ragged. Camped into enemy quarters, Nick 'Canonball' Jones swatted opponents away like flies on an Elwood beach, regularly finding both space and Tom Davies who dazzled all with his infant footwork. Elwood had the odd dalliance into Ranger's half, but when the fortress of Richard, Rowland, Alex P and Kars couldn't snuff things out, the ensuing shots barely skimmed the grass on their passage to Tim's safe keeping.
If Elwood were sh*tting themselves at Ranger's attacking flare, they were experiencing enema's in spades when it came to defending corners. Tim C whipped them in hard and fast, with only good fortune retaining Elwood's lead. Another ripping corner was then met by a soaring Richard Owen who blasted a header into the top corner for the long awaited goal.
Central Park then put their foot to the floor, as Alex B and Gaz dominated up front against a tiring and rattled Elwood defence. Rangers' dangerous long throw in's were a feature, an absolute doozy audaciously volleyed by Tom denied only by the post. Somehow, i repeat SOMEHOW, Elwood survived the half not conceding a second goal.
The halftime mood was buoyant, probably for the first time this season - and with good reason. The break seemingly the only thing to sparing Elwood from being 3 or 4 goals down. A confident Rangers were keen to resume from where they left off, and it only took 2 minutes for the next moment of magic. Another run by Alex ending with a sweet pass across the face of goal for Hendy to finish, momentum shifted Central Park's way a tad more.
With their hard work paying dividends, it seemed unfortunate that one too many risky passes in Ranger's own would end up costing the lads a vital possession. Elwood, with an extra man in the midfield were able to surge forward, a scrambling Central Park attempted to clear the area. With a degree of good fortune, a sudden Elwood shot took a nasty deflection that was good enough to beat a diving Tim for a sodding second goal.
Central Park knew that they were playing the better football, and continued to ramp it up. Tim C, looking to make amends for his pricey turn over moments earlier switched on the afterburners and embarked on one of his famous solo missions. Skipping past the 43rd red shirt in sight, Tim then pulled out the protractor and fired in a third from an angle i'm pretty sure hasn't been discovered yet. 3-2 Central Park up.
And then it happened.What, exactly, i can't be sure. Although something that was later pointed out to me was Elwood's endless queue of substitutes. With Alex succumbing to injury, conversely Central Park were left with a petty 11, but given the team form, going on with it should really have been feasible.
Elwood's cranium bearing cold-war looking villain (who was sent off in this fixture last year) was able to tap in a third after another Central Park error in their own half. The same 'friendly' gent then did his unsporting best, putting the muscle on Tim as he attempted a kick out. Tim - assuming incorrectly that keepers are a protected species reacted in kind. In his broken English, Dolph (let's call him Dolph), upped the affection and gave Tim some verbal curry and threw his elbow into Tim's shoulder just to round out the courting ritual (i have blue bruises - boohoo). Both players received a yellow card which seemed somewhat astonishing.
(Yes, yes - i'm aware we did the same gag on one of last years blog's, same player too i think.... 'if the shoe fits' right?!)
With Dolph well contained by new boy Alex the enforcer, Elwood seemed to wake from their slumber and wrestle their way back into the match. Kar's received a yellow card pretty much cos the ref likes the colour of it, and the tide continued to turn Elwood's way.
To their credit, Elwood, who've given some of the better teams a hard time this year, showed us why as they clicked into gear. Central Park couldn't hang on and match Elwood's new found vigor, as their classy finishing netted a few more and left Ranger's with no answers.
Plenty of dash and promising football from the Malvern lads, who were probably caught short on the subs front and minus a couple of regulars.
Best: Canonball Jones
The Rest: Everyone put in a solid 90!
Christy Brown Award: Paul Nelson - you may just have bookended Worlds Fastest Goal with Worlds Fastest Injury Departure....
Central Park 3 - Elwood City 6
"...and if you build it, they will come" - Kevin Costner, Field of Dreams.
Sadly, Central Park's own 'field of dreams' quickly morphed into a sh*t filled nightmare as they produced their best opening hour of football this season, only to dish up one of the more bizarre second half fade outs in Rangers history.
Elwood, who probably predicted an easy outing, came up against a switched on Central Park looking to atone last week's shambolic output in search of their first win of the year.
'Build it', Rangers did, as a short and sharp passing game backed by more on-field talk than a Toast Masters seminar, quickly created chances against the highly fancied Elwood City.
But it wasn't all beer'n'skittles, as disaster struck in the opening 5 minutes, Paul Nelson's Celtic flavored hoop socks obviously taking the ire of an Elwood heavy who studs up ended Nelson's afternoon prematurely.
You could look it either way - we were down to one option for linesman, or no substitutes. As Central Park powered on, it was the curse of the other (i.e.- theirs) linesman who would play the bigger role. Our old Elwood henchman (more on him later) foe, so offside that he was more or less tending to the roses in the greenhouse up the western end of Central Park, found himself lumbering towards goal. A well placed and unchallenged shot found Tim napping at the near post for the opener. A sheepish looking Elwood linesman felt the chastising of the Rangers back four (c'mon, play it straight buddy, you effed up....). 1 nil.
Unlike days gone by, the lads didn't drop their heads any and went harder in search of an equalizer. Central Park's midfield was on fire, and running Elwood ragged. Camped into enemy quarters, Nick 'Canonball' Jones swatted opponents away like flies on an Elwood beach, regularly finding both space and Tom Davies who dazzled all with his infant footwork. Elwood had the odd dalliance into Ranger's half, but when the fortress of Richard, Rowland, Alex P and Kars couldn't snuff things out, the ensuing shots barely skimmed the grass on their passage to Tim's safe keeping.
If Elwood were sh*tting themselves at Ranger's attacking flare, they were experiencing enema's in spades when it came to defending corners. Tim C whipped them in hard and fast, with only good fortune retaining Elwood's lead. Another ripping corner was then met by a soaring Richard Owen who blasted a header into the top corner for the long awaited goal.
Central Park then put their foot to the floor, as Alex B and Gaz dominated up front against a tiring and rattled Elwood defence. Rangers' dangerous long throw in's were a feature, an absolute doozy audaciously volleyed by Tom denied only by the post. Somehow, i repeat SOMEHOW, Elwood survived the half not conceding a second goal.
The halftime mood was buoyant, probably for the first time this season - and with good reason. The break seemingly the only thing to sparing Elwood from being 3 or 4 goals down. A confident Rangers were keen to resume from where they left off, and it only took 2 minutes for the next moment of magic. Another run by Alex ending with a sweet pass across the face of goal for Hendy to finish, momentum shifted Central Park's way a tad more.
With their hard work paying dividends, it seemed unfortunate that one too many risky passes in Ranger's own would end up costing the lads a vital possession. Elwood, with an extra man in the midfield were able to surge forward, a scrambling Central Park attempted to clear the area. With a degree of good fortune, a sudden Elwood shot took a nasty deflection that was good enough to beat a diving Tim for a sodding second goal.
Central Park knew that they were playing the better football, and continued to ramp it up. Tim C, looking to make amends for his pricey turn over moments earlier switched on the afterburners and embarked on one of his famous solo missions. Skipping past the 43rd red shirt in sight, Tim then pulled out the protractor and fired in a third from an angle i'm pretty sure hasn't been discovered yet. 3-2 Central Park up.
And then it happened.What, exactly, i can't be sure. Although something that was later pointed out to me was Elwood's endless queue of substitutes. With Alex succumbing to injury, conversely Central Park were left with a petty 11, but given the team form, going on with it should really have been feasible.
Elwood's cranium bearing cold-war looking villain (who was sent off in this fixture last year) was able to tap in a third after another Central Park error in their own half. The same 'friendly' gent then did his unsporting best, putting the muscle on Tim as he attempted a kick out. Tim - assuming incorrectly that keepers are a protected species reacted in kind. In his broken English, Dolph (let's call him Dolph), upped the affection and gave Tim some verbal curry and threw his elbow into Tim's shoulder just to round out the courting ritual (i have blue bruises - boohoo). Both players received a yellow card which seemed somewhat astonishing.
(Yes, yes - i'm aware we did the same gag on one of last years blog's, same player too i think.... 'if the shoe fits' right?!)
With Dolph well contained by new boy Alex the enforcer, Elwood seemed to wake from their slumber and wrestle their way back into the match. Kar's received a yellow card pretty much cos the ref likes the colour of it, and the tide continued to turn Elwood's way.
To their credit, Elwood, who've given some of the better teams a hard time this year, showed us why as they clicked into gear. Central Park couldn't hang on and match Elwood's new found vigor, as their classy finishing netted a few more and left Ranger's with no answers.
Plenty of dash and promising football from the Malvern lads, who were probably caught short on the subs front and minus a couple of regulars.
Best: Canonball Jones
The Rest: Everyone put in a solid 90!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Match Report: Masters Vs Middle Park
Sunday 12th May 2013, Central Park Malvern
Central Park 3 - Middle Park 5
A blustery day at the Fortress that only Christopher Robin would have been happy about.
Simon won the toss and we elected to play with the gale to our backs.
Steve and John were reunited in centre mid and we started well. A great through ball released Lars who broke through and opened the scoring.
Middle Park dug deep and pushed for an equaliser which duly came courtesy of an unstoppable half volley that went in off the inside if the post.
Soon after a Middle Park corner saw the ball bobble around the six yard box before finding its way into the back of the net and soon after Middle Park added a third. Davey prevented a fourth with a fine one handed save at fill stretch.
A horror period and though we rallied we couldn't pull one back before half time.
The second half was an arm wrestle with some memorable tackles from Big Dave. Despite the wind our short passing improved and we started to build until against the fun of play Middle Park added a fourth with a long range shot.
We then dominated the next fifteen minutes with Lars playing in some brilliant crosses with first Simon chesting down and shooting over the bar and then John being only millimeters away from a goal.
Eventually the pressure told as Ant found some space on the edge of the box and drove the ball into the back of the net.
It looked like we would then be back to 4-3 but Simons shot, from another Lars cross, hit the post.
In the end it was a case of what might have been with Middle Park getting a somewhat fortunate fifth.
Some good stuff but the game underlined how competitive the league is this year and we'll need to lift next week to beat Ashburton (who beat Middle Park 1-0 last week).
Please confirm availability for next Sunday 3pm at home (just Niall and Wayne out at the moment).
Central Park 3 - Middle Park 5
A blustery day at the Fortress that only Christopher Robin would have been happy about.
Simon won the toss and we elected to play with the gale to our backs.
Steve and John were reunited in centre mid and we started well. A great through ball released Lars who broke through and opened the scoring.
Middle Park dug deep and pushed for an equaliser which duly came courtesy of an unstoppable half volley that went in off the inside if the post.
Soon after a Middle Park corner saw the ball bobble around the six yard box before finding its way into the back of the net and soon after Middle Park added a third. Davey prevented a fourth with a fine one handed save at fill stretch.
A horror period and though we rallied we couldn't pull one back before half time.
The second half was an arm wrestle with some memorable tackles from Big Dave. Despite the wind our short passing improved and we started to build until against the fun of play Middle Park added a fourth with a long range shot.
We then dominated the next fifteen minutes with Lars playing in some brilliant crosses with first Simon chesting down and shooting over the bar and then John being only millimeters away from a goal.
Eventually the pressure told as Ant found some space on the edge of the box and drove the ball into the back of the net.
It looked like we would then be back to 4-3 but Simons shot, from another Lars cross, hit the post.
In the end it was a case of what might have been with Middle Park getting a somewhat fortunate fifth.
Some good stuff but the game underlined how competitive the league is this year and we'll need to lift next week to beat Ashburton (who beat Middle Park 1-0 last week).
Please confirm availability for next Sunday 3pm at home (just Niall and Wayne out at the moment).
Match Report: Thirds Vs Middle Park
Sunday 12th May 2013, Central Park Malvern
Central Park 1 - Middle Park 8? (Who can really tell? I say 8, Rod says 7, yet the official FFV result politely says 6! Is this a morale-saving mercy rule i'm unaware of? if so, how condescendingly sweet!)
MIDDLE PARK HAND CENTRAL PARK 'MOTHER' OF ALL HIDINGS
As i sailed past Central Park at 12.20 en-route to Paul Davies place to collect team sheets, i must confess to being a bit alarmed at the site of 15 or so freshly ironed yellow and black kits going through their pre-match drills.
Had i forgotten the frenetic, professional pace and preparation of Thirds Football?
Sure, this was my first game for the season, and standing between it and my last appearance at this illustrious level was a memory-testing, yet brain reformatting Las Vegas trip.
(Slushed: this plastic cowboy boot starring 17 shots of vodka was the only 'boot' polished during Tim's trip)
Or, maybe these fine specimen (gay quote much?) were warming up for a 12.30 kick off on the adjacent pitch? Wrong again.
This was an unbeaten side doing what they do every week - preparing to remain unbeaten. Conversely Central Park scrambled to get their act together until the 11th hour in readiness for the smack-down that lay in waiting.
Not even the sentiment of Mother's Day would spare Rangers from an unforgiving Middle Park who raced out of the blocks with repeated attacking wave.
After a couple of near misses, the Middle Park winger took as long as he liked to trap a wide ball, take a step back, pick his intended target, select which panel of the ball he'd strike, yawn (oh wait that was me writing this), and finally whip in a cross toward one of two unmarked team mates to head home nicely.
As Rod and Steve argued about the regrettables that couldn't be changed, Middle Park went up a gear. Their midfield knocked the ball around at will, enjoying the sight of the Central Park lads running themselves ragged to get into the contest.
Another couple of chances was all Middle Park needed to add a second, again raffling off who'd finish as a hapless Tim very quickly sunk further into the depths of post holiday blues.
Rod then succumb to a stubbed toe (he did attempt to explain some Latin sounding condition but i was too busy retrieving balls from the back of the net), and the ambush continued. Young Tom started to get into the game more and Ian Loh did a sound job under immense pressure out wide. It was the injection of Central Park's own Ned Kellly - another Tim, who provided much needed run and counter-attack in stemming the flow.
But even Ranger's better performers couldn't do it on their own, and an unfortunate free kick provided Middle Park with yet another chance to expose the lax marking as Tim in goals allowed the cross to be met for a point blank range header goalward. 3 nil after 20 - getting ugly.
As if Middle Park weren't doing well enough on the back of their own ability, Central Park aided them further with an agonisingly frustrating pattern of handing back possession on the rare occasions they had it in their keeping. Against a fitter and more skillful team, Rangers continually chanced their arm with a long ball game baring little or no reward, Middle Park winning most contests and quickly launching further attacking raids.
The pinball wizardry continued, this time a volley that detoured between Rowland's legs and into the roof of the net for a 4th.
A moment's respite for the Burke Roaders finally arrived, as Tom muscled his way into the game, winning possession and making a fabulous run down the left touchline and around the final defender. Cool beyond his years, Tom's neat pass found its way across goal for a rampaging Steve to finish a brilliant attacking movement. A positive way to round an otherwise diabolical Central Park opening half. 4-1
A goal and the return of half time oranges would be the only fruit of Central Park's labor. However it was short lived - a goalkeeping blunder would give Middle Park's own John Rambo clone the satisfaction of a 5th, although a much competitive encounter ensued. Ian continue to run his guts out, Tim Charters did likewise, often going the solo route toward goal.
Alex B's cameo as a linesmen then ended as he gallantly answered the call to arms from his deathbed, donning the blue and white and trying his flem-laden guts out for Rangers.
This was to be Middle Park's day though, and late in the match they fired in two absolute rockets competing for goal of the year contenders.
Probably not an 8 goal better team, but definitely an 8 goal performance.
Best: Ian Loh/Tom
The Rest: Tim C, Tim (Ned Kelly), Steve, Rowland
Christy Brown My Left Foot Award (make some room in cabinet for another trophy this year): Tim N - for THAT goalkeeping blunder gifting Rambo a goal.
Central Park 1 - Middle Park 8? (Who can really tell? I say 8, Rod says 7, yet the official FFV result politely says 6! Is this a morale-saving mercy rule i'm unaware of? if so, how condescendingly sweet!)
MIDDLE PARK HAND CENTRAL PARK 'MOTHER' OF ALL HIDINGS
As i sailed past Central Park at 12.20 en-route to Paul Davies place to collect team sheets, i must confess to being a bit alarmed at the site of 15 or so freshly ironed yellow and black kits going through their pre-match drills.
Had i forgotten the frenetic, professional pace and preparation of Thirds Football?
Sure, this was my first game for the season, and standing between it and my last appearance at this illustrious level was a memory-testing, yet brain reformatting Las Vegas trip.
(Slushed: this plastic cowboy boot starring 17 shots of vodka was the only 'boot' polished during Tim's trip)
Or, maybe these fine specimen (gay quote much?) were warming up for a 12.30 kick off on the adjacent pitch? Wrong again.
This was an unbeaten side doing what they do every week - preparing to remain unbeaten. Conversely Central Park scrambled to get their act together until the 11th hour in readiness for the smack-down that lay in waiting.
Not even the sentiment of Mother's Day would spare Rangers from an unforgiving Middle Park who raced out of the blocks with repeated attacking wave.
After a couple of near misses, the Middle Park winger took as long as he liked to trap a wide ball, take a step back, pick his intended target, select which panel of the ball he'd strike, yawn (oh wait that was me writing this), and finally whip in a cross toward one of two unmarked team mates to head home nicely.
As Rod and Steve argued about the regrettables that couldn't be changed, Middle Park went up a gear. Their midfield knocked the ball around at will, enjoying the sight of the Central Park lads running themselves ragged to get into the contest.
Another couple of chances was all Middle Park needed to add a second, again raffling off who'd finish as a hapless Tim very quickly sunk further into the depths of post holiday blues.
Rod then succumb to a stubbed toe (he did attempt to explain some Latin sounding condition but i was too busy retrieving balls from the back of the net), and the ambush continued. Young Tom started to get into the game more and Ian Loh did a sound job under immense pressure out wide. It was the injection of Central Park's own Ned Kellly - another Tim, who provided much needed run and counter-attack in stemming the flow.
But even Ranger's better performers couldn't do it on their own, and an unfortunate free kick provided Middle Park with yet another chance to expose the lax marking as Tim in goals allowed the cross to be met for a point blank range header goalward. 3 nil after 20 - getting ugly.
As if Middle Park weren't doing well enough on the back of their own ability, Central Park aided them further with an agonisingly frustrating pattern of handing back possession on the rare occasions they had it in their keeping. Against a fitter and more skillful team, Rangers continually chanced their arm with a long ball game baring little or no reward, Middle Park winning most contests and quickly launching further attacking raids.
The pinball wizardry continued, this time a volley that detoured between Rowland's legs and into the roof of the net for a 4th.
A moment's respite for the Burke Roaders finally arrived, as Tom muscled his way into the game, winning possession and making a fabulous run down the left touchline and around the final defender. Cool beyond his years, Tom's neat pass found its way across goal for a rampaging Steve to finish a brilliant attacking movement. A positive way to round an otherwise diabolical Central Park opening half. 4-1
A goal and the return of half time oranges would be the only fruit of Central Park's labor. However it was short lived - a goalkeeping blunder would give Middle Park's own John Rambo clone the satisfaction of a 5th, although a much competitive encounter ensued. Ian continue to run his guts out, Tim Charters did likewise, often going the solo route toward goal.
This was to be Middle Park's day though, and late in the match they fired in two absolute rockets competing for goal of the year contenders.
Probably not an 8 goal better team, but definitely an 8 goal performance.
Best: Ian Loh/Tom
The Rest: Tim C, Tim (Ned Kelly), Steve, Rowland
Christy Brown My Left Foot Award (make some room in cabinet for another trophy this year): Tim N - for THAT goalkeeping blunder gifting Rambo a goal.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Match Report: Thirds Vs Monash Uni/Bayside/Old Scotch
Central Park Thirds 2013- The story so far.......
BACK TO THE FUTURE
A sense of de ja vu has struck this roving football journalist in a myriad of ways early into the season.
Cases in point:
1. Mark Henderson has returned to the womb citing 'homesickness' (FYI: Gazza said a similar thing when the pace of the Serie A was past him too, i'm just saying is all!) - AND he's already eyeing off another Golden Croc.
2. After countless nights on the razz with the Central Park boys, Hendy's right-hand-man Paul Nelson has finally seen the light and defected to Burke Rd - though in proving some things never change, he's yet to buy a round (then again, he is Scottish....!)
3. Our win/loss ratio is as consistent as ever!
and
4. Absolutely no-one replied to the email inviting contributions/match reports on the season so far.
Sh*t it's good to be home.......
An aggressive off-season recruitment drive sees the Thirds welcome:
- Rowland Melville
- Ian Loh
- Brian Loh
- Ed Senneck
- Conor Keating
Did i miss anyone?!?
Welcome boys, and bloody good luck - and before you ask, 'yes' Steve does behave like that every week. Suck it up.
As for the matches so far, what can i say?.......
BACK TO THE FUTURE
A sense of de ja vu has struck this roving football journalist in a myriad of ways early into the season.
Cases in point:
1. Mark Henderson has returned to the womb citing 'homesickness' (FYI: Gazza said a similar thing when the pace of the Serie A was past him too, i'm just saying is all!) - AND he's already eyeing off another Golden Croc.
2. After countless nights on the razz with the Central Park boys, Hendy's right-hand-man Paul Nelson has finally seen the light and defected to Burke Rd - though in proving some things never change, he's yet to buy a round (then again, he is Scottish....!)
3. Our win/loss ratio is as consistent as ever!
and
4. Absolutely no-one replied to the email inviting contributions/match reports on the season so far.
Sh*t it's good to be home.......
An aggressive off-season recruitment drive sees the Thirds welcome:
- Rowland Melville
- Ian Loh
- Brian Loh
- Ed Senneck
- Conor Keating
Did i miss anyone?!?
Welcome boys, and bloody good luck - and before you ask, 'yes' Steve does behave like that every week. Suck it up.
As for the matches so far, what can i say?.......
Match Report: Masters Vs Bulleen
Sunday 28th April 2013, Central Park Malvern
Central Park 1 - Bulleen Lions 1
BULLEEN FEEL THE WRATH OF THE SUNDAY FOOTBALL PITCH - WELCOME TO THE PARTY
Nose bleed territory with a top of the table battle with Masters new boys Bulleen at the Fortress
Despite being away from their artificial pitch Bulleen settled earlier - the billiard table Central Park pitch obviously suiting them.
No real chances despite much endeavour. The first highlight came when the Bulleen midfielder chased Klotzy through the middle of the Park and ended up turning his ankle.
After that we started to get on top. A few long shots troubled the keeper but we didn't sustain our pressure.
As Bulleen got back into it we ended up camped in our box defending a series of corners. Finally, the pressure told with a snap shot on the edge of the six finding the net just as the half time whistle blew.
With renewed vigour and better use of the flanks we pressured Bulleen much better. As the half wore on we did get more shooting opportunities but couldn't break through.
At the back we controlled their speedsters well and Kostas made a couple of fine saves.
Into the last ten and with Bulleen's discipline slipping we were awarded a free kick ten yards into their half.
Klotzy stepped up and whipped in a perfect ball which dipped towards the far post where Neil powered home his header. Cracking goal and back to 1-1
The last five minutes was end to end but in the end it was honours even and a fair result
Next weekend is a bye so we'll organise a kick about.
Well played and will be nice to come back in two weeks still unbeaten having served my suspension.
Central Park 1 - Bulleen Lions 1
BULLEEN FEEL THE WRATH OF THE SUNDAY FOOTBALL PITCH - WELCOME TO THE PARTY
Nose bleed territory with a top of the table battle with Masters new boys Bulleen at the Fortress
Despite being away from their artificial pitch Bulleen settled earlier - the billiard table Central Park pitch obviously suiting them.
 |
| (Happy home-coming: crowds flock to Central Park's namesake kiosk) |
No real chances despite much endeavour. The first highlight came when the Bulleen midfielder chased Klotzy through the middle of the Park and ended up turning his ankle.
After that we started to get on top. A few long shots troubled the keeper but we didn't sustain our pressure.
As Bulleen got back into it we ended up camped in our box defending a series of corners. Finally, the pressure told with a snap shot on the edge of the six finding the net just as the half time whistle blew.
With renewed vigour and better use of the flanks we pressured Bulleen much better. As the half wore on we did get more shooting opportunities but couldn't break through.
At the back we controlled their speedsters well and Kostas made a couple of fine saves.
Into the last ten and with Bulleen's discipline slipping we were awarded a free kick ten yards into their half.
Klotzy stepped up and whipped in a perfect ball which dipped towards the far post where Neil powered home his header. Cracking goal and back to 1-1
The last five minutes was end to end but in the end it was honours even and a fair result
Next weekend is a bye so we'll organise a kick about.
Well played and will be nice to come back in two weeks still unbeaten having served my suspension.
Match Report: Masters Vs Collingwood
Sunday 21st April 2013, Kevin Bartlett Reserve, Richmond
Collingwood 2 - Central Park 3
FIRST HALF MASTERCLASS HOLDS OFF FAST FINISHING COLLINGWOOD
Glorious sunshine and a top quality pitch greeted the team. No nets or corner flags but with only three players the Boys in black and white were keen to stretch out kick off as much as possible. The ref eventually shortened the halves to 40 minutes - more of that later.
Following retirements, injuries and a few sabbaticals we'd lost 8 from last years squad. On the flip side we welcomed Wayne, Ricky, Steve and Simon for their first games and Big Dave returning from Singapore.
The first half was a joy to behold. Calm passing, working the flanks, Lars and Simon providing targets supported wide by Ricky and Jon.
Somehow Collingwood survived the early skirmishes but were resorting to a long ball game which was easily mopped up by Wayne and Neil at the back.
Constant pressure started to tell with Steve and John marshalling the middle of the park ably supported off the bench by Ian and Ant. In the end a great corner to the far post created the opener for Simon who tucked it away off his knee/shin/spotty socks. They all count and we were off and running.
Our second was a bit of magic from the corner flag as Lars beat one, tiptoed along the goal line to beat another then drove the ball across the goal for Joey to tuck it away.
Collingwood improved giving me more trouble than Niall but we held out well with Kostas making a fine save from their only real shot.
With half time looming it looked like 2-0 until a brain fade at the back gifted us the ball in the corner. A perfect cross picked out Joey who headed home his second. 3-0 half time.
Looking to push on we started well but with an unusually large number of subs found it hard to get going. Was all fairly tame until a free kick in the box saw Collingwood pull a rather fortunate one back.
Shortly after with the game in the bag yours truly gave the ball away, one on one with Kostas, goal bound shot which I turned over the bar - red card, penalty.
However, the king of the penalties Kostas psyched out Collingwood skipper Olly who hit the outside of the post.
15 minutes to go and ten men. End to end stuff and we could have easily sown it up. Against the run Collingwood made it 3-2
Time up, or so we thought, until the ref decided to play a 49 minute half. Despite that no more goals and six points from two games.
Much to like in today's game and with a few more games under our belt we should be humming along nicely.
Great result and back to the Fortress next Sunday for new boys Bulleen - 3pm kick off.
Collingwood 2 - Central Park 3
FIRST HALF MASTERCLASS HOLDS OFF FAST FINISHING COLLINGWOOD
Glorious sunshine and a top quality pitch greeted the team. No nets or corner flags but with only three players the Boys in black and white were keen to stretch out kick off as much as possible. The ref eventually shortened the halves to 40 minutes - more of that later.
Following retirements, injuries and a few sabbaticals we'd lost 8 from last years squad. On the flip side we welcomed Wayne, Ricky, Steve and Simon for their first games and Big Dave returning from Singapore.
The first half was a joy to behold. Calm passing, working the flanks, Lars and Simon providing targets supported wide by Ricky and Jon.
Somehow Collingwood survived the early skirmishes but were resorting to a long ball game which was easily mopped up by Wayne and Neil at the back.
Constant pressure started to tell with Steve and John marshalling the middle of the park ably supported off the bench by Ian and Ant. In the end a great corner to the far post created the opener for Simon who tucked it away off his knee/shin/spotty socks. They all count and we were off and running.
Our second was a bit of magic from the corner flag as Lars beat one, tiptoed along the goal line to beat another then drove the ball across the goal for Joey to tuck it away.
Collingwood improved giving me more trouble than Niall but we held out well with Kostas making a fine save from their only real shot.
With half time looming it looked like 2-0 until a brain fade at the back gifted us the ball in the corner. A perfect cross picked out Joey who headed home his second. 3-0 half time.
Looking to push on we started well but with an unusually large number of subs found it hard to get going. Was all fairly tame until a free kick in the box saw Collingwood pull a rather fortunate one back.
Shortly after with the game in the bag yours truly gave the ball away, one on one with Kostas, goal bound shot which I turned over the bar - red card, penalty.
However, the king of the penalties Kostas psyched out Collingwood skipper Olly who hit the outside of the post.
15 minutes to go and ten men. End to end stuff and we could have easily sown it up. Against the run Collingwood made it 3-2
Time up, or so we thought, until the ref decided to play a 49 minute half. Despite that no more goals and six points from two games.
Much to like in today's game and with a few more games under our belt we should be humming along nicely.
Great result and back to the Fortress next Sunday for new boys Bulleen - 3pm kick off.
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