Match Report - Masters Vs Fitzroy

Sunday 29th April, 2012, Fairfield Park

Fitzroy 8 - Central Park 0

Royboyz show they're more than just a recycled VFL team.

Fatherly commitments and injuries beset our preparations for today's game. But a brave band of 11 brothers ventured north to take on the reigning champs. 

Having been spoilt playing on the billiard table surface at the Fortress Fairfield Park was something to behold. Fair to say Bannockburn was flatter and dryer - I swear there was a kilted Lothian hiding in the marsh on the left wing. 

We started the game brightly but were slowed by injuries to Ant and John exposing a flaw in our cunning no subs approach. 

Despite creating some early chances It was Fitzroy who scored a neat opener. The ref, not content that we were already undermanned, temporarily joined Fitzroy and gave them a penalty after their striker handled the ball.

From then at 2-0 down we battled gamely on with some great passing but no luck in front of goal. Then just before half time we were caught on the break for 3-0 at half time. 

With Ant and John both in trouble a flick of the coin saw Ant go in goal for the second half.

Despite the odds we chased the game, pressured Fitzroy but couldn't make it stick. The much needed goal didn't come and Fitzroy caught us in the break. 

With the pattern set we continued to chase. Kostas enjoyed a rare outing, galloping down the right wing, Tommy and Karl challenged all day while Neil A repelled waves of Fitzroy pressure. 

In the middle John didnt stop running, quite a feat on one leg, Gerard and Peter are developing a great partnership, Neil B ran all day in midfield while Lars kept terrorizing them down the right wing. Despite the loss we did unearth another excellent keeper in Ant who managed to stop half a dozen certain goals. 

Much to admire as we get into the swing of Masters and at least three subs for each game's a must. 

Next week it's back to the Fortress - get there early and cheer on the Thirds too. 


Captain Paul

Match Report - Thirds Vs Bayside Argonauts

Sunday, 22nd April 2012, Bayside, Cheltenham

Bayside 1 - Central Park 1


Bayside stooged by Mr. T's Malvernites.

Central Park headed sea-ward for the second time in as many weeks to take on competition heavyweights Bayside Argonauts. 


True to expectation, the Argonauts were coming off a 5-1 drubbing of the studious Monash University, and a similar result was probably anticipated here. Toss in the fact that Bayside has never been a happy hunting ground for the Burke roaders, who until this fixture had never left the the place with even a single point.

That said, as far as 'respectable losses' are concerned (a term used quite liberally down Malvern way over the past couple of seasons), last week's 4-2 defeat at the hairy hands of Beaumaris signalled a new beginning.

The late withdrawal of NZ import Damian to illness, coupled with the shock mid-week retirement of veteran Richard Price didn't get the better of Central Park, as they started the game much like they finished last weeks with some brilliant passing and movement off the ball. Spearheaded up front by Tim C, who if last week was a terrier, played more like a pit bull this round, chasing anything with a pulse or resembling a round object (including the portly Bayside no. 14 who we wouldn't forget).

(Causing a racquet - word is Pricey's tennis shots hit the net more often  than they ever did up front for Central Park. We'll miss ya Pricey!)

Frustration began to creep in to the ball hungry Argonauts, starved of possession and well kept by the Central Park defence who, led as well as ever by both Mario and Rod, quickly formed a fortress through the middle of the ground and anywhere near the 18 yard box. The half deepened, and pressure mounted on the home side to produce in front of their expectant following. Shots began coming in mostly long range, much to the satisfaction of Tim in goals who exerted more energy retrieving wayward balls than he did saves, anywhere from the carpark to the canteen. 

In true Central Park form, fatigue meant cracks begun turning into leaks, and finally Bayside got a shot off from close range which Tim was able to get in the way of. A couple of corners and heart-in-mouth (and maybe one or two 'foot-in-mouth') moments very nearly paid dividends to the boys in blue. 

After a significant period of attack down Bayside's end where Central Park were frustratingly trigger-shy, Bayside were able to punish Central Park's inability to score with a counter attack. Colin, who all day would keep two of the Bayside quicks to nothing more than a amble jog found himself caught out as the Bayside no. 7 (twinkle toes, as i certainly didn't hear him coming!), unmarked, was able to head home a cross at the far post. 1 nil on the stroke of half time.

The mood at half time in the Central Park camp was buoyant. Yes, we were a goal down - but quite easily could've been a goal up, or even a couple of goals down. I'm not exactly sure where that places us in football parlance, but either way, the lads had played extremely productive football in possession, and defended stoically.

As the second half unravelled, so too did the cockney flavoured Bayside coach, with tongue lashings aplenty served to his troops. The man was frustrated, things had not gone to script: CP's Steve, Rod & Mario were performing in concert more like The Three Tenors rather than The Three Stooges. Nick was outleaping and out muscling an opponent nearly a foot taller, whilst Paul, ah sweet, gentleman Paul - was being a right pain the arse to the Bayside defense, 'bullying' them off the ball in creating space and opportunities for the likes of fleet footed Daniel and serial pest Stuart.

Through a very tired and uncanny Lars Ulrich look-alike (circa 1981), Bayside persisted down the flanks, albeit briefly as time and again the ball was navigated or in the very least hoofed back to their own half, Tim in goals doing his bit to keep things steady and farm the ball out to the waiting Dave and co.

(Soccer-rocker: Lars Ulrich gets his 'downtime' in the South Eastern Div 3 soccer league with the Bayside Argonauts)

Now as mentioned earlier in the piece, all of Bayside expected lots on this day, but one thing they, nor the Central Park lads for that matter, didn't anticipate was Garriet swaggering on up pre-match sporting the best mohawk since Mr. T. Coming off the bench and running at tired defenders, the CP little man threw everything he had at the Bayside back four, and not just his fashion statement. Sustained pressure was rewarded and finally the ball fell to Gaz, who after one step - then another - then another - then maybe just one more - ok, when you're ready Gaz - Gaz, you can see what the keeper had for breakfast now mate - WHACK! Slammed the equaliser in at the near post. 1 a piece as Gaz got his 2012 tally off to a flyer and left the the Argonauts bewildered at what had just happened.

The match would cease there, not before Colin 'Kamakazi' Brien would feel the wrath of yet another smaller opponent for the second week in a row.

A quality game, and one Central Park might well have taken the points in. Not a bad performance from any player as they continue to gel and sniff out that first win.

Best: Rod/Mario

The Rest: Steve, Tim C, Nick, Colin, Dave

MATCH REPORT: Masters Vs South Yarra

Sunday, 22nd April 2012, Central Park, Malvern

Central Park 2 - South Yarra 2

Yarra seeing double as Masters cut ribbon on revamped pitch.

After a false start last week our Masters journey finally started with a stern test against long term foes South Yarra. 

The new Central Park pitch was in a beautiful condition and yours truly won the toss and decided to play with the prevailing gale.

("Our little secret": Council's off-season handywork to change Central Park's pitch configuration is almost unrecognisable)

As ever we were fast out of the blocks. Klotzy and Peter stretching Yarra out wide and coupling well with Lars and Neil up front. In the opening 15 Yarra resorted to fouls to stem the flow but the wind put paid to an early breakthrough. 

It was only a matter of time before the defense was breached. The inevitable came from a sublime run from Lars down the right, hitting the byline then firing a low ball across the goal. Neil Bates controlled the ball at the back post, resisted the urge to shoot and laid the ball back for Klotzy to bury his shot from 8 yards out. 

A Somme like barrage put Yarra under huge pressure but they held out well. The second goal came as Yarra tried to push forward, Central Park stole the ball and from the left wing Dave Neal hit a majestic cross for Neil Bates to head home at the far post. 2-0

Yarra were limited to long balls which were easily mopped up by the Neil, Ant and Big Dave across the back. Then against the run of play a hopeful free kick in the six yard box was headed home for 2-1. 

Sadly in the second half the wind continued so it was our turn to man the barricades. We held out for 25 minutes until Yarra pulled level with a shot from the edge of the area. 

Defensive heroics kept us in the game and we still created a few chances to win it but in the end 2-2 seemed a fair result. 

A great start to the season against a quality side sees us with four points after 2 games.

Captain Paul Davies Esquire.

MATCH REPORT: THIRDS Vs BEAUMARIS

Sunday, 15 April 2012, Beaumaris.

Beaumaris 4 - Central Park 2

"THE KIDS ARE AAAALLLLRRRIIGGGHHHTTT!"

The season opener banged a gong in the history of Central Park Football Club as the first official outing for newlyweds Central Park Rangers and AC Malvern. Whilst they trekked Bayside to battle Beaumaris on an unusually warm Autumn afternoon, Ranger's 'dads army' Masters side took advantage of an unexpected Round 1 forfeit, collecting the 2 points and 3 goal windfall in the process.

Things weren't going to come so easily for the Thirds, against a side they'd levelled more pre-pubescent, acne and Bieber jokes at in football history. Not that our taunts counted for much, as this fixture produced a 5 nil demolition in favour of the spotty youths last season. Much has changed since then however (a couple of the nippers have made it to 'second base' - ok no more, i promise....), including the improved strength of the Central Park squad courtesy of some new faces. 

CP's pre-game warm up confirmed one of two things as far as this butter-fingered keeper was concerned:

1. It'd been a very, very long time since i've had shots blasted at me, or perhaps i'd gone a bit top heavy on the sorbolene over Summer (We all remember my 'efforts' on the speedball at Timezone). New gloves and all, my hands were stinging like buggery after half a dozen or so balls were fired in my direction.

and

2. The lads meant business, as they drilled strike after strike past me, into me, under me, almost always on target. This was exciting, albeit painful.

A sporting gesture wouldn't go unnoticed, as the Beaumaris no. 29 was kind enough to wish Tim N luck in goals, before adding "you're a bit of a 'Ralph Lauren' keeper aren't you?" (As only a clumsy adolescent might) in reference to Tim's new Adidas goalie get-up. Cheeky little bastard......


From the get go the match was a much more even contest than previous encounters, probably much to the surprise of the speedy and fitter Beaumaris. Facing a team that seemed to make keeping possession a priority with extensive passing, the blue and golds found themselves doing more of the chasing early on. 
New recruits Paul and Rod were lively and heavily involved early, Paul winning many contests in the middle with Rod steering things from the spine. Tim C started as a terrier and wouldn't stop for the remainder of the afternoon with or without possession of the ball. 
Beaumaris attempted to move the ball wide fast and as early as possible in an attempt to utilise their pace, clearly secret to their success. Colin on the right, and Sparky on the left worked overtime to contain attacks down the flanks. 


Central Park continued to push the ball around and fight hard for possession, Mario and Steve leading the way in the winning of the 50-50's. Meanwhile Tim C continued to be as creative as hell and cause all sorts of worry for the Beaumaris defence. Free flowing football continued with the spaces opening up due to the movement off the ball and unpredictability from a Central Park outfit attempting to find their groove as a unit. Several genuine scoring chances were served up in what was an extremely impressive Central Park passage of play, complementing a well managed rotation policy to counter the heat and superior fitness.


The first half deepened and Beaumaris' conditioning begun to become the dominating factor, as they crept up further toward enemy territory. Seemingly showing a degree of impatience, an innocuous half strike/half pass floated it's way towards Tim in goal who, casually meandering across to collect, foolishly placed only one hand towards it and took his eye off ball. The result being the perfect deflection into the top corner for the first goal. A howler of monumental proportions, and no doubt one for the bloopers reel. 


As so often is the script of Central Park (well, of the AC kind anyway), the distraction allowed Beaumaris to put their foot to the floor, a lapse in concentration down the right thanks enough for the smallest man (after Gaz) on the park to drill a second into the roof of the net past a hapless Tim. Then, from the ensuing kickoff, one ray of sunshine too many brought the brilliantly reliable Dave undone at centreback, as another Beaumaris striker, hardly believing his luck slotted a low outside toe-poke past Tim in goals for a third. 

3 nil at half time, an unfair reflection on the game as a contest.


The brains trust consisting of Mario, Rod and Steve made some necessary changes at the break, stabilising the Central Park back four whilst promoting a more attacking style of play with the use of wingbacks. Tim C continued to pepper away and use the likes of Daniel, Matt and the ever powerful and dangerous Nick in driving towards the Beaumaris goal. Garriet provided a useful target as always both to feet and somehow winning in the air, annoying defenders, and only just unable to find the right moment to pull the trigger. 
Beaumaris' scoring opportunities had dried up considerably, testament to Central Park now controlling sway, yet again though, a moments lapse in failing to shut the man down allowed a decent shot to be fired Tim-wards who, at a stretch could only parry the ball into the path of a well timed Beaumaris runner to comfortably head home. 


At 4 nil, the game seemed beyond the reach of Central Park, not that they chose to believe this was the case. If anything, they became more physical and harder at the ball, creating some sensational turner overs which again provided attacking opportunities. Central Park debutant, Nick, found himself extremely unlucky on several occasions not to head home and no doubt a genuine aerial attacking threat has been unearthed. 

Finally CP's hard yards paid dividends as Tim C, who'd by now had travelled further than Burke and Wills, again found space and drilled home. Justice served, as a blatant check on Tim in the penalty box earlier was ignored by the whistle-shy soccer dad, refereeing in the absence of an official, denying both a scoring a chance or penalty. 

A goalmouth scramble, corner here and there, sweeping sideline movements and a boy half his size nearly paralysing a committed Colin were some of the final stages of play. (below)

  

(Less is More: CP defender Colin Brien get's 'belittled')

 
Again a clumsy Beaumaris challenge with the aid of a hand this time saw the penalty given. No chewy on the boot of Steve as he coolly sent a more than competent Beaumaris keeper the wrong direction. Central Park would see off a couple of late surges from the home side thanks to authority at the back and better second half keeping.


A loss that in all fairness probably should've been a draw. There's definitely loads of goals in the boys from Central Park, and it's unlikely they'll encounter a fitter team in this competition suggesting, as what the "juvi's" down Beaumaris way might call, "high times" (i know, i know i promised).

EPICCCC!!!!!

Final: Beaumaris 4 - Central Park 2


Best: Tim C
The Rest: Colin, Mark, Richard O, Nick, Daniel

Masters Round 1 Match Report (well, sort of)

Firstly a summary of the weekend's events. 

We were formally advised by the FFV that Our Round 1 fixture was forfeited by Clifton Hill. This sees us sharing the top of the ladder with a nominal 3-0 result and three points. 

Luckily we still managed a run against Highlanders who share Central Park with us.

A free flowing game included a cameo from Lars2 who showed sparkling form before a calf injury forced an early retirement. Both Batesy and Lars terrorized the opposition but despite our domination we only led by a quality Lars goal at half time. In defense Davey kept a clean sheet dealing admirably with what little could be thrown at him. 

After the good Doctor pointed out that passing rather than belting the ball might yield better results in the second half we decided to give it a go. 

Instant dividends with a couple of quick goals from Klotzy (J) and Lars. As we looked like running amok Big Dave decided he'd give Highlanders a chance by going off and we were down to 10 men. 

Game stayed very even despite the next four goals going to Highlanders - including dodgy penalty and freakish bounce off a corner gifting two of them. 

Undaunted, Neil A said he was more than happy defending on his own and from where I was standing in the Highlanders penalty area looked like he did a fine job. 

The Central Park spirit showed through with a lovely run from Ben forcing a foul on the edge of the box. In stepped Klotzy to put away the free kick in the top corner, 4-4 and the final whistle. 

Whilst we still need to gel through the middle and let the ball do the work four quality goals and some very good passages of play show we're not too far away. 

This Sunday we are at home to South Yarra who last year were one of the best teams in the League so we'll need to be at our best.

Kick off is 3pm at Central Park. Please can you let me know if you are available. There were a couple of injuries on the weekend so we may need extras. 

Paul

2012: New Team - New Season - New Blog

So a new chapter in Central Park football history unfolds in 2012, following the departure of some household Malvern names. 

Gone are the familiar faces that made it uniform to dance away their Saturday night pissed to the eyeballs, only to stagger up Burke Road and around opponents for a kick about come Sunday morning. Oh yes, they will be missed for their social camaraderie and penchant for Jaegerbomb shots, if not for their division 3 football nous.

Every cloud has its silver lining though, fast forward to 2012 and Central Park's very own Kofi Annan (some white dude from either Rangers or AC) has negotiated a dream proposition and nutted out a marriage made in heaven merger between Central Park Rangers and AC Malvern. 

It's a red letter day for both teams - as the 2011 season came to a close, the once mighty AC Malvern was now running on the smell of an oily rag and the bones of it's arse. The possibility of extinction a reality. Ring-ins, a reduced training schedule (if that's actually possible), Anthony Robbins 'Power Weekend' retreats, and the more than occasional Sunday morning liver detox, clearly not producing results on the field.

Elsewhere, in the same way the Pumpkin Patch laden heir who once roamed leafy Central Park has grown up, so too have the boys at Rangers - a more suitable landscape needed to be found. So as the motifs Ralph Lauren and BMW become the norm for that once little boy, Rangers too have moved with the times and shifted to the Masters League.

It's an exciting time for all, and word off the Masters grapevine is that the 'Baby Rangers' have already trodden on their fair share of Grosby's in recent weeks, with one mature, yet pacey, Masters rival - 'Hector', offering: "it's totally unfair, not only have these kids slashed the average league age by 27 years, but they're also drinking our Reschs and muscling in on the birds up at the Ashburton bowls. How do we compete? Wendy & Edith know very well that Viagra doesn't fall under the PBS scheme".... 

Though i hear some of the WAGS are extending the olive branch...

It remains to be seen if Rangers will indeed prove to be a Masters nursery for rival teams to poach from, but there's little doubt that the new kids on the block will start the season as warm title favourites.

A similar yardstick of success sits on the shoulders of the Central Park Thirds and with good reason. Depth, talent and fresh faces complementing a squad who've shared as many jars with one another as they have creepy suburban Dandenong change rooms.

'Revolution' may be drawing a long bow, but the thought of winning more games of football than losing sure beats any superlative.

So with the immediate logistics and housekeeping avoided, paid and palmed off - it's down to the serious stuff.

Pearly words aside, i think this astute young man sums up the Central Park spirit best:

  

“It's a good thing we won, because we were going to thrash the place if we didn't.”

 - Liam Gallagher

Here's to a cracking 2012!

(two become one: Malvern artist/socialite Clementine Finch-Wilkins gets behind the Rangers V AC Malvern union)

(Bottoms Up: Spencer Tunick shows the Central Park faithful how to celebrate the merger with a 'cheeky' expression of support)