Old Melburnians 3 - Central Park Rangers 5
OH YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(hit f*cking play already.....)
Sheesh! Gimme a sec to get the hard ones into the lungs.....
So, if you didn't work it out already, the lads are kinda excited to post their first win of the season AND remain unbeaten in 3 weeks! (i'm counting the Queens Birthday Holiday, cos i can....).
The allure of playing on a pool table had some of the older guys salivating, and the mums and dads of Melbourne Grammar's next crop of luminaries didn't disappoint, lashing out their hard earned on the most perfect of pitches set to Port Melbourne beach as a backdrop.
Million dollar pitch or not, playing in blustery seaside conditions under the Westgate Bridge is whiskers at the best of times. An early start would make cold conditions feel arctic, and when the thermostat froze over at just on 6 degrees come 10am, it was clear that the European elements would favor Central Park's own 'British Lions'.
By the time the mercury had found the motivation to climb to 10 degrees, the 'Lions' - Hendy, Colin, Ed and Tim N (hey, work with me - mum's from Hammersmith "innit"?) were running amok as Central Park laid the platform for an explosive first half.
A youthful Old Melburnians were on the backfoot early, presumably with one eye already on the school holidays, Central Park only really being threatened on the counter attack from the zippy adolescents up the flanks. However Rangers were on high alert, and made the tactical switch as specialist wing-back Ian was poached from the left to negate the driver of a green P plated Merc (that means young, red means really f*cking young - so i'm told). And a sound performance Ian churned out too, blanketing Old Melburnian's best attacking player and winning plenty of possession of his own.
George was still smarting from going goalless and winless last week (and basically swearing at everyone like a lunatic pre-match: "f*cking score today or i'll f*cking cave your heads in right?!?!?!" ok, bit of an exaggeration.... but his enthusiasm was impressive). Jungle (George, you're stuck with that now - deal with it) went about his business, breaking more than the odd nail of Old Melburnians, and opened the scoring in the most unlikely of fashions. A low, swerving, dipping, hard and probably miskicked, corner swept past all and sundry, bouncing like a par 3 drive onto the green and untouched into the cup for the opener. 1 nil Rangers.
Playing from in front is something Ranger's aren't accustomed to, and clearly a responsibility the lads struggle to cope with. Forgetting how quick our opposition could be, a sweeping attacking movement - this time down the right, found another pacy (the red P plater in the Alfa) Old Melburnian, in a dubious position. Waved onside, Colin was unable to intercept a nice pass across the face of goal which was tapped in to an unguarded goal for Old Melburnian's first.
Corners were proving to the be the Achilles heal of a panicked Old Melburnians who fondled and fumbled them like teenagers at a deb ball after party. A seemingly innocuous corner hovered on in, which Old Melburnians avoided like the girl at the dance with cooties. George was nearly on a hat-trick before a clumsy defender (possibly their keeper) flicked it into his own goal, gifting Rangers back the lead.
Moments later, Gaz imposed himself on the game in true Gaz fashion - the unpredictable. Ranger's own Archie Thompson, loves a goal and i dare say being the centre of attention too. Hard as an Old Melburnian at a titty bar at schoolies, Gaz charged in for a physical contest, and even though he came off the better, was forced to come off altogether with a bloodied head thanks to an errant elbow. At 5'2 the cheeky git had the audacity to call it a head clash!
"The mood was buoyant at halftime" - who else is sick of hearing this sh*t week after week? ME!
Clearly i wasn't the only one, as Central Park came out swinging in the second stanza, keen to finish off an Old Melburnians outfit who's confidence was on the ropes.
Like a wild gibbon, Ed continued his dominance in the centre of the park and in the air. Impossible to get past, and more often than not swatting defenders away, Old Melburnians struggled to contain his and Jungle George's influence. Again the spaces opened up, as a polished passing movement initiated from Rod at the back found it's way down field for Hendy to continue his purple patch and fire in a 4th.
Then BANG! No, not the sounds of Central Park knocking in another half a dozen as they probably should've, but instead a complacent Rangers side letting Old Melburnians back in the game. First Rowland, on a hat-trick of his own clumsily giving away a second penalty in as many weeks. Tim's frustration at having never been able to deny a penalty continued. 4 - 2
A barrage of chances were surfacing for Old Melburnians, close saves from Tim and heart in mouth goal line clearances from the self acclaimed 'aging' Colin proving critical. Fortunately for Rangers, Old Melburnian's were about as good at capitalising on corners as they were defending them. Rowland more than redeemed himself in playing the role of door bitch in strong arming a rambunctious Old Melburnian rooster who, when it came to the push'n'shove, at times resembled an emo on Ritalin.
With Rod doing his defensive best in mopping up some lax marking, Ranger's steely shape began to bend and lose it's way. Ian found himself outnumbered and suddenly P Plate Merc turned into Open Licenced Ferrari. In a near identical move from the Old Melburnian's first half goal, the home side were able to get leather on leather and steer a 4th in past a despairing Tim in goals.
The high times were put on ice, and Hendy dragged back to the trenches to shore up the defense. It seemed that Old Melburnians had done their dash though, and were barely sighted on goal for the remainder of the day.
Unbelievable isn't it - a physio and two surgeons from Central Park couldn't stop the bleeding, but yet Gaz found a way, returning to the pitch whilst doing his best Cameron Diaz impersonation.....
 |
| ('There's Something About Gaz') |
Central Park 5! - Old Melburnians 3
Nothing more to say but:
God Damm it feels good to win!
Best: Hendy
The Rest: Ian, Rod, George, Ed, Stu
Christy Brown: Gaz - c'mon man, you had jizz in your hair.....
No comments:
Post a Comment