Boroondara 4 - Central Park 1
Bottoms Up.
So it would seem that things couldn't get much bleaker for the boys in blue and white after the hiding at the hands of South Yarra the week prior. However, it wasn't until the end of this 90 minute debacle against cross town rival Boroondara, that the lads were really reaching the for the Beyond Blue bracelets in a cold sweat of frustration.
This fixture has seen some ugly football over the past couple of seasons, more as a result of the ineptitude of both sides. The scene was set once again for 'ugly', as epitomized by their last and second last ladder positions. Lately though it's been more about the spite than anything, and Central Park (in particular Rod) quickly learned that Boroondara have long memories.
Disaster struck even before kickoff, in a suburban Montmorency backyard - the most unlikely locales for events to unfold. Tim, in a mad rush as per usual made even madder, and unable to locate his goal keeping strip (well shorts anyway). Heavy overnight rain, an un-mown lawn, and a poorly behaved/trained pet beagle named Rubin, was all it took for chaos to be created. Mid-week daytime boredom had struck, and Rubin had impressively prized the drying shorts from the line, using them as his latest play-thing.
 |
| (Little bastard.....) |
Anywho, it was clear that the condition of the said shorts rendered them soaking, filthy and completely unwearable. But i wasn't done with yet. Taking an in-genius idea from a spotty youth i once witnessed on the Frankston line, who attempted to dry his socks between the doors of the moving carriage:
He failed, and so did i. Instead i just wore the blue f*cking shorts the rest of the guys had on.
Making matters worse, the game itself was completely shambolic, unless you're Mark Henderson who put in an absolute blinder and paid for it in true clumsy errant boot Sunday football fashion. Skipping past defenders and standing up all in front of him, Hendy was a one man show, somehow weaving past 4 and 5 opponents countless times.
Actually the first half was reasonable, with a scoreless opening 45 minutes, and several chances for both sides going to waste. It was downhill from there, Boroondara piled the pressure on a Rangers side who played like a team on the bottom of the ladder.
With no Steve, Tim C and Richard Owen playing the apparent 'nurse-on-call' role (hang over), the odds were further stacked against us.
Boroondara would 'walk' their first two in, then a blatant hip'n'shoulder from Tim on a charging purple caped Eagle would earn them a penalty. Eagle's resident tosser *cough, i mean 'cockney', converted from the spot with relative ease. (He's also Rod's boyfriend apparently, evidenced by the first half gyrating/dry humping poor Rod endured - "fixtures between us are too long!" he'd later be quoted as saying).
Canonball Jones then provided a moments respite with a penalty of his own following yet another nuclear strike on hendy's shin.
With the game gone, a farcical mix up would see Tim produce a howler in spilling the easiest of through balls gifting a chance to some Boroondara long haired goon who snuffled it like some purple hungry-hungry hippo.
Over and out.
Best: Hendy
The Rest: Alex B, James
Christy Brown: we lost to a win less team resembling 11 hemorrhoids - everyone gets a gurnz
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