Sunday 27th May 2012, Central Park Malvern
Central Park 1 - Elwood 2
Kit clash has EVERYONE seeing red
With confidence at a season high, the boys of Burke Rd rolled up to Central Park in the belief that this was as good a time as any to cause an upset and rocket into the top four. With sand between their toes, the might of Elwood stood before them boasting an impressive for and against, and no doubt anticipating a quick kill here.
Chicago, circa 1920, and Al Capone would fall victim to a stroke of genius from nemesis Elliot Ness and friends, who at the 11th hour would swap a jury paid off by Capone for one with slightly more integrity that ensured Capone's demise. (Stick with me, this has a point...)
A similar play would unfold on Sunday as Central Park pulled the 'Ness' card in seeking a tactical advantage on their opponent with a last minute pitch swap. O.k, so it was more about our usual pitch being an unplayable potato patch thanks to the rain, but the former reason sounded more impressive didn't it?
Oh, and the move did sweet f*ck all.....
Like an adolescent fumbling his sweaty way around items of lingerie, many hands tried desperately pre-match to make light work of getting the nets attached to the state of the art new goal posts. Honestly, a lunar space expedition would've been more straight forward for CP's brains trust than the duct taping of nylon to steel.
Three quarters of an hour later, we were finished and scrambled to get a team on the park as Elwood stood around yawning and having idle chit-chat about next week's game.
Tim was still filling out the team sheet as he trotted towards his goal, whilst the match got underway. Again, not an ideal start for a side making a habit of giving opponents the early jump. Elwood knocked the ball around with ease and with very little resistance from the red and black - Stephen J, making a Ruud Gullit, Chelsea-like debut at sweeper. Fortunately he only got better as the match wore on, as passes and communication amongst the defence tightened.
Whilst Central Park were still finding their mojo, a well timed Elwood header found its way into the path of the skeletal Elwood striker who used his pace to run at an out of position Tim in goals, skip around him and slot the opener into an unguarded net. Similarly, just minutes later an almost carbon copy chain of events unfolded, the same player swooping on another opportunity and finishing well to narrowly squeeze a second past. 2 nil after 10 minutes, the signs weren't looking good.
With their tales well and truly in the air, Elwood assumed their first half dominance over a team not nearly giving an accurate account of themselves. The Rangers voices began to get louder and become more frequent, the lopsided possession count evening out. Hardness on the ball from the likes of Tim C and Jeremy sent a stern warning that the game was far from over, as several of the more 'sensitive' residents of Tennyson St took umbrage to the physical attention. Boohoo.
The usual barrage of goalmouth scrambling was suddenly replaced by long range shooting, not much more than practice for Tim in goals, and this would be as close as Elwood would come again to scoring for the time being. Meanwhile, Gaz and Tom were finally able to put the magazines and deck chairs away thanks to the Central Park mids beginning to create space for the two to have shots on goal.
Half time would sound out a clear message for the boys: "get to the ball first - it's why they're winning, and we're not". Scientific stuff. Mario resumed a talisman like role at the back freeing up wrecking ball Stephen to create havoc up front. It was Stu, meanwhile, that underestimated all of us. After doing a fine blanket job on Elwood's chief play maker for the first 20 minutes, things went a little pear shaped as the affable and cheeky tagger flipped the bird and turned on his own with an acid-tongued rant enough to make a wharfie blush. Stu has since received a call of support from QPR's Joey Barton, which i don't is a good thing or not?! Either way, bring back the Stu of old we know and love - you're better than that mate! *see footnote
Disruptions aside, Central Park did what they've done so often season: follow up a shite first half with a brilliant display of dominance in the second. Tim C hunted the ball out at both ends of the ground, Dave dominated in the air and Tom ran his little heart out. Both Tim and Jeremy would find themselves seeing yellow as a consequence of seeing red, whilst Matt took enough punishment to put him on the pine for the afternoon.
With Central Park camped on the edge of the Elwood box, frustrations grew, the referee (who i'm certain didn't speak of word of English aside from the inevitable "$75 mat-ch fee puleez" after the match) was barely sighted. Desperate Elwood defence more than once brought down Central Park players they struggled to contain. Finally, luck would have it that 20 times was too many for young Tom to be floored, and a penalty given.
Nick stepped up and tested the structural integrity of his goal net handiwork, smacking the ball hard and fast beyond the portly Elwood no. 1.
Elwood were quick to share the blame around - something we suspected might happened should their lead be threatened. Stand-in Captain Colin battled like a warrior, despite some close checking and verbal dash courtesy of the most rediculously stereotypical James Bond looking villain: big, mean, angry, distinguished accent, and a complete wanker. All the things one loves to hate!
But like many times this season, Central Park would finish the match the stronger but run out of time faster than their opposition would run out of legs.
Best: Mario
The Rest: Damo, Jeremy, Nick, Tim C
*in searching for the term to best describe one who turns on their own, i.e. shoot the messenger, judas or something similar, the 'urban dictionary' threw up this pearler which i just HAD to share, fascinating stuff :
Central Park 1 - Elwood 2
Kit clash has EVERYONE seeing red
With confidence at a season high, the boys of Burke Rd rolled up to Central Park in the belief that this was as good a time as any to cause an upset and rocket into the top four. With sand between their toes, the might of Elwood stood before them boasting an impressive for and against, and no doubt anticipating a quick kill here.
Chicago, circa 1920, and Al Capone would fall victim to a stroke of genius from nemesis Elliot Ness and friends, who at the 11th hour would swap a jury paid off by Capone for one with slightly more integrity that ensured Capone's demise. (Stick with me, this has a point...)
A similar play would unfold on Sunday as Central Park pulled the 'Ness' card in seeking a tactical advantage on their opponent with a last minute pitch swap. O.k, so it was more about our usual pitch being an unplayable potato patch thanks to the rain, but the former reason sounded more impressive didn't it?
Oh, and the move did sweet f*ck all.....
Like an adolescent fumbling his sweaty way around items of lingerie, many hands tried desperately pre-match to make light work of getting the nets attached to the state of the art new goal posts. Honestly, a lunar space expedition would've been more straight forward for CP's brains trust than the duct taping of nylon to steel.
Three quarters of an hour later, we were finished and scrambled to get a team on the park as Elwood stood around yawning and having idle chit-chat about next week's game.
Tim was still filling out the team sheet as he trotted towards his goal, whilst the match got underway. Again, not an ideal start for a side making a habit of giving opponents the early jump. Elwood knocked the ball around with ease and with very little resistance from the red and black - Stephen J, making a Ruud Gullit, Chelsea-like debut at sweeper. Fortunately he only got better as the match wore on, as passes and communication amongst the defence tightened.
Whilst Central Park were still finding their mojo, a well timed Elwood header found its way into the path of the skeletal Elwood striker who used his pace to run at an out of position Tim in goals, skip around him and slot the opener into an unguarded net. Similarly, just minutes later an almost carbon copy chain of events unfolded, the same player swooping on another opportunity and finishing well to narrowly squeeze a second past. 2 nil after 10 minutes, the signs weren't looking good.
With their tales well and truly in the air, Elwood assumed their first half dominance over a team not nearly giving an accurate account of themselves. The Rangers voices began to get louder and become more frequent, the lopsided possession count evening out. Hardness on the ball from the likes of Tim C and Jeremy sent a stern warning that the game was far from over, as several of the more 'sensitive' residents of Tennyson St took umbrage to the physical attention. Boohoo.
The usual barrage of goalmouth scrambling was suddenly replaced by long range shooting, not much more than practice for Tim in goals, and this would be as close as Elwood would come again to scoring for the time being. Meanwhile, Gaz and Tom were finally able to put the magazines and deck chairs away thanks to the Central Park mids beginning to create space for the two to have shots on goal.
Half time would sound out a clear message for the boys: "get to the ball first - it's why they're winning, and we're not". Scientific stuff. Mario resumed a talisman like role at the back freeing up wrecking ball Stephen to create havoc up front. It was Stu, meanwhile, that underestimated all of us. After doing a fine blanket job on Elwood's chief play maker for the first 20 minutes, things went a little pear shaped as the affable and cheeky tagger flipped the bird and turned on his own with an acid-tongued rant enough to make a wharfie blush. Stu has since received a call of support from QPR's Joey Barton, which i don't is a good thing or not?! Either way, bring back the Stu of old we know and love - you're better than that mate! *see footnote
 |
| (Angry Ant: Stu might've just bagged himself a new nickname!) |
Disruptions aside, Central Park did what they've done so often season: follow up a shite first half with a brilliant display of dominance in the second. Tim C hunted the ball out at both ends of the ground, Dave dominated in the air and Tom ran his little heart out. Both Tim and Jeremy would find themselves seeing yellow as a consequence of seeing red, whilst Matt took enough punishment to put him on the pine for the afternoon.
With Central Park camped on the edge of the Elwood box, frustrations grew, the referee (who i'm certain didn't speak of word of English aside from the inevitable "$75 mat-ch fee puleez" after the match) was barely sighted. Desperate Elwood defence more than once brought down Central Park players they struggled to contain. Finally, luck would have it that 20 times was too many for young Tom to be floored, and a penalty given.
Nick stepped up and tested the structural integrity of his goal net handiwork, smacking the ball hard and fast beyond the portly Elwood no. 1.
Elwood were quick to share the blame around - something we suspected might happened should their lead be threatened. Stand-in Captain Colin battled like a warrior, despite some close checking and verbal dash courtesy of the most rediculously stereotypical James Bond looking villain: big, mean, angry, distinguished accent, and a complete wanker. All the things one loves to hate!
 |
| him? |
 |
| or him?! |
 |
| or this guy maybe! |
Best: Mario
The Rest: Damo, Jeremy, Nick, Tim C
*in searching for the term to best describe one who turns on their own, i.e. shoot the messenger, judas or something similar, the 'urban dictionary' threw up this pearler which i just HAD to share, fascinating stuff :
| 1. | shoot the snake | |
|
Practice of exposing an erect penis (boner)
in order to startle an unsuspecting person. Quite often used as a put
down when done to an unpopular male or a male from outside your own
social group. The implication is the recipient of the snake enjoys
seeing other guys' boners. Shooting the snake can also be used to break
up dull parties when someone has too much to drink and goes around
showing his bone to party guests. May result in being punched in the
nose or kicked in the nads.
can't wait for the next dull party...
| ||
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