Sunday 1st September 2013, Princes Park Carlton
Melbourne Uni 2 - Central Park 1
Future of Melbourne twerk their way to ugly victory
Not even the added incentive of relegation escapism was enough to fire Central Park up enough to produce the goods, as the lads went down 2-1 to Melbourne Uni.
Melbourne are the only side to have knocked off title bound Old Scotch, whilst also being on the end of some absolute hidings this year, so Rangers were up against a classic 'Jekkyl & Hyde' University team. A heartbreaking loss it was then, as Rangers pissed a golden opportunity down the gutters of Rathdowne Street as Melbourne selected one of their more 'no frills' sides this week.
As old Melbourne town welcomed Spring 2013 in a truly glorious manner, someone forgot to tell the wind to stay the f*ck away. Whilst i'm bitching and moaning about what worked against us, the allure of a second half breeze in our favor didn't honor it's promise either, turning swiftly to the benefit of the home side later in the day.
I could go on.... and i will, the pitch at a glance looked as good as the name might and reputation might suggest 'Princes Park Esquire', but in truth the surface was rubbish too. A potato patch for a goal mouth, and undulated divots the moon would be proud of, robbing the lads of their free flowing South American one-touch flare they're renowned for (Seriously who reads this that actually watch us play?).
'A good tradesman....' though, as the weather and the turf were no worse than the lads. Put simply - the boys were well short of their best, and Melbourne Uni thoroughly deserved their win. This, despite Central Park having a healthy stack of their more famous names on deck. As expected, Rangers had the bulk of possession, particularly in the early stages and it looked like a comfortable win in the sun could be penciled in for schizzle.
Jungle George, Charters and Canonball Jones did as they pleased, racking up mountainous amounts of possession as the away side cantered down field. The way things were going, any number of Rangers players could've had an early goal, but in what was to be an all too familiar, and increasingly frustrating pattern, nobody could find a shot in them. Call it gun-shy, 'too many cooks' or excellent Melbourne defense, but nothing, and i mean nothing seemed to bother their keeper.
Rangers, clearly running out of patience upped the tempo and FINALLY Nick latched on to the end of a sweet cross, firing a hole in the Melbourne keeper who did well to push the shot wide.
Despite the wave of Central Park dominance, Melbourne managed to wrestle free and create a couple of chances of their own. A seemingly harmless cross came in which the token Melbourne Uni professor (who always seems to pop up in these fixtures) made a life reducing lunge towards.
No few than three Central Park players cried handball in unison as the daft old cheat tried to disguise his 'paddling' of the ball with his hand, as a header. Fair Play's ambassador Steve Creswell (perfect appointment, really) was on hand, and 'politely articulated' his opinion on the matter and suddenly it looked like it mightn't just be winter that kills old people.....
The moment didn't result in a goal, but if Central Park were mildly vexed at incorrectly conceding a corner over the matter, they were eyeing off a grave beside the professor for the Italian/Iranian/Lebo/Greek/Pakistani referee, after the resultant corner was brilliantly headed home past a hapless Tim in goals. Fleeced!
In a dull and mostly lifeless match, Rangers struggled to find their mojo, and it was only with ten minutes to play that losing the unloseable seemed like a real possibility. Melbourne really weren't offering much in the way of attack, so it spelt complete disaster - and probably summed up the afternoon - when a harmless Sunday walk/jog down the right resulted in a goal at the near post to the home side. Rowland and Rod looked at each other and then at Tim i guess. Nobody was more surprised though than the goalscorer himself and now buoyant teammates.
2 nil, and heads really did drop. Petrakos entertained all in his battle royale with Carlton's local sook and Flynny decked him just for good measure also. Then finally a breakthrough, as Nick fired in a well taken penalty to keep things interesting, but the intensity was missing when it counted, and that killer instinct absent all afternoon. With this, Central Park's chances faded to the tune of the sun setting over Carlton. The boys now forced to produce a final round fight of their lives at home to stave off relegation. Bitter, bitter stuff.....
And....... Just to make things interesting, it's against Old Melburnians and equation is a simple one:
We win - we stay up, they go down.
They win - they stay up, we go down.
Bring your Sunday best lads!
Best: Nick
The Rest: George, Petrakos, Flynny
Melbourne Uni 2 - Central Park 1
Future of Melbourne twerk their way to ugly victory
Not even the added incentive of relegation escapism was enough to fire Central Park up enough to produce the goods, as the lads went down 2-1 to Melbourne Uni.
Melbourne are the only side to have knocked off title bound Old Scotch, whilst also being on the end of some absolute hidings this year, so Rangers were up against a classic 'Jekkyl & Hyde' University team. A heartbreaking loss it was then, as Rangers pissed a golden opportunity down the gutters of Rathdowne Street as Melbourne selected one of their more 'no frills' sides this week.
As old Melbourne town welcomed Spring 2013 in a truly glorious manner, someone forgot to tell the wind to stay the f*ck away. Whilst i'm bitching and moaning about what worked against us, the allure of a second half breeze in our favor didn't honor it's promise either, turning swiftly to the benefit of the home side later in the day.
I could go on.... and i will, the pitch at a glance looked as good as the name might and reputation might suggest 'Princes Park Esquire', but in truth the surface was rubbish too. A potato patch for a goal mouth, and undulated divots the moon would be proud of, robbing the lads of their free flowing South American one-touch flare they're renowned for (Seriously who reads this that actually watch us play?).
'A good tradesman....' though, as the weather and the turf were no worse than the lads. Put simply - the boys were well short of their best, and Melbourne Uni thoroughly deserved their win. This, despite Central Park having a healthy stack of their more famous names on deck. As expected, Rangers had the bulk of possession, particularly in the early stages and it looked like a comfortable win in the sun could be penciled in for schizzle.
Jungle George, Charters and Canonball Jones did as they pleased, racking up mountainous amounts of possession as the away side cantered down field. The way things were going, any number of Rangers players could've had an early goal, but in what was to be an all too familiar, and increasingly frustrating pattern, nobody could find a shot in them. Call it gun-shy, 'too many cooks' or excellent Melbourne defense, but nothing, and i mean nothing seemed to bother their keeper.
Rangers, clearly running out of patience upped the tempo and FINALLY Nick latched on to the end of a sweet cross, firing a hole in the Melbourne keeper who did well to push the shot wide.
Despite the wave of Central Park dominance, Melbourne managed to wrestle free and create a couple of chances of their own. A seemingly harmless cross came in which the token Melbourne Uni professor (who always seems to pop up in these fixtures) made a life reducing lunge towards.
No few than three Central Park players cried handball in unison as the daft old cheat tried to disguise his 'paddling' of the ball with his hand, as a header. Fair Play's ambassador Steve Creswell (perfect appointment, really) was on hand, and 'politely articulated' his opinion on the matter and suddenly it looked like it mightn't just be winter that kills old people.....
The moment didn't result in a goal, but if Central Park were mildly vexed at incorrectly conceding a corner over the matter, they were eyeing off a grave beside the professor for the Italian/Iranian/Lebo/Greek/Pakistani referee, after the resultant corner was brilliantly headed home past a hapless Tim in goals. Fleeced!
 |
| So i knocked "Maradona hand of god" into Google and this came up! Which along with being bloody hilarious, probably best illustrates the lads feeling towards the aforementioned 'professor'. |
In a dull and mostly lifeless match, Rangers struggled to find their mojo, and it was only with ten minutes to play that losing the unloseable seemed like a real possibility. Melbourne really weren't offering much in the way of attack, so it spelt complete disaster - and probably summed up the afternoon - when a harmless Sunday walk/jog down the right resulted in a goal at the near post to the home side. Rowland and Rod looked at each other and then at Tim i guess. Nobody was more surprised though than the goalscorer himself and now buoyant teammates.
2 nil, and heads really did drop. Petrakos entertained all in his battle royale with Carlton's local sook and Flynny decked him just for good measure also. Then finally a breakthrough, as Nick fired in a well taken penalty to keep things interesting, but the intensity was missing when it counted, and that killer instinct absent all afternoon. With this, Central Park's chances faded to the tune of the sun setting over Carlton. The boys now forced to produce a final round fight of their lives at home to stave off relegation. Bitter, bitter stuff.....
And....... Just to make things interesting, it's against Old Melburnians and equation is a simple one:
We win - we stay up, they go down.
They win - they stay up, we go down.
Bring your Sunday best lads!
Best: Nick
The Rest: George, Petrakos, Flynny
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