Sunday 21st July 2013, HA Smith Reserve, Hawthorn.
Old Scotch 6 - Central Park 0
Google maps has Rangers dazed and confused even before kickoff
- well, what a load of horse-sh*t that is..... Just ask big Richard Owen, who's cruisy, top down seaside commute turned into a mercy dash just to make kick-off on time. Or, the Loh Bros trek from Melbourne Airport that made the bloody Ring Road look like a Sunday night in the main drag of Adelaide. Worse still was Tim Nolan, who was in possession of both the team kit AND the all important oranges, as he sailed past the soundproof Freeway wall that stood between he and the pitch.
Google couldn't give a toss, and nor could Old Scotch who, aided by a heap of subs and better pre-match warm up, handed Central Park a nice old touch up.
The head chef at a more ritzy hotel once told me: "it's unacceptable to run out of ANYTHING in this caper, so we make 3 days worth of food every 2 days" - By golly i wish i'd adopted this mantra on Sunday morning when Paul Davies whored around his gifted footballing son Tom. With 14 confirmed starters my optimistic naivety saw us decline Tom's services - this executive decision turned into a complete tits down disaster, 3 late withdrawals left us with a 11 at best, meaning no subs (though Colin's mysterious absence was credited to the Google maps black hole). It also meant our pleading with the opposition to provide another linesman, which they generously did.
On a freezing cold day, Central Park actually started pretty well - Californian (though he looked exotically South American and played like one too) import Rueben an excellent inclusion on the right wing with some great probing runs and eye-boggling ball control.
Stepping off the red eye and drawing inspiration from the Man. United training session in Sydney, Ian found himself with plenty of the ball and in everything, regular attacking raids from the back keeping Old Scotch on guard.
Rangers actually came into the contest with a fair degree of hope, going down 1 nil in their first fixture against Scotch, and the belief of a win a definite presence.
However despite having a strong side including the return of Captain Cresswell from Ashes and golf couch-warming duty, the sheer weight of depth of the bench was always going to be tack in the arse. As the half deepened, the Ranger's defense held steady but it felt like only a matter of time that a Scotch breakthrough would come. Rowland and Petrakos were having solid games, but getting the ball and keeping it down the other end was proving difficult.
In what must've been the umpteenth time in about 10 minutes, Rangers managed to scramble the ball to safety. It wasn't until the last 5 or so minutes, that aided by the wind, and with a real sniff that Scotch were rewarded for their persistence for the opener.
Shots rang in from high and wide, unfortunately mostly from Scotch, who were getting excited now. Tim and co were using up plenty of juice in retrieving the errant footballs from the nearby quarry, and in turn taking their sweet time in resuming play in an attempt to drain the clock.
Well on top, Scotch helped themselves to another uncontested goal kick, pushed the ball wide and found themselves with a handy overlap. Slow as a wet fortnight, Rangers couldn't respond in time and Tim found himself diving after a long range thunderbolt that hit the top corner. 2 nil right on the stroke of halftime.
In a game of two halves, Rangers didn't show anywhere near as much gusto as they did in the first half. Minus the suspended Tim C and Jeremy, who failed a late fitness test, the lads simply didn't have enough in the tank without a bench.
On top of that, what we didn't need was injuries and running repairs to Rich (gout) and Tim in goals (golf ball on the kneecap) didn't help matters any as they struggled to see out the game. Ed, Alex B and Rod had dirty days too, struggling to get into the contest as even the portly Scotch midfielder with a disturbing camel toe had a better time of it!
The wheels then really fell off when Rowland called 'keeper' on Tim's behalf and forgot to remind Tim. That was embarrassing. However Rangers then went one better when Tim actually did call 'keeper' and didn't bother to follow through with the collect. 2 of the best.
It really didn't get much simpler than that, as Scotch weren't made to work as hard as they really should've by a team that seemingly put the cue in the rack at halftime. A couple more went in but i was too busy writing this.....
Best: Ian/Rueben
The Rest: Alex, Rich
Old Scotch 6 - Central Park 0
Google maps has Rangers dazed and confused even before kickoff
 |
| ("arriving at destination") |
Google couldn't give a toss, and nor could Old Scotch who, aided by a heap of subs and better pre-match warm up, handed Central Park a nice old touch up.
The head chef at a more ritzy hotel once told me: "it's unacceptable to run out of ANYTHING in this caper, so we make 3 days worth of food every 2 days" - By golly i wish i'd adopted this mantra on Sunday morning when Paul Davies whored around his gifted footballing son Tom. With 14 confirmed starters my optimistic naivety saw us decline Tom's services - this executive decision turned into a complete tits down disaster, 3 late withdrawals left us with a 11 at best, meaning no subs (though Colin's mysterious absence was credited to the Google maps black hole). It also meant our pleading with the opposition to provide another linesman, which they generously did.
On a freezing cold day, Central Park actually started pretty well - Californian (though he looked exotically South American and played like one too) import Rueben an excellent inclusion on the right wing with some great probing runs and eye-boggling ball control.
Stepping off the red eye and drawing inspiration from the Man. United training session in Sydney, Ian found himself with plenty of the ball and in everything, regular attacking raids from the back keeping Old Scotch on guard.
Rangers actually came into the contest with a fair degree of hope, going down 1 nil in their first fixture against Scotch, and the belief of a win a definite presence.
However despite having a strong side including the return of Captain Cresswell from Ashes and golf couch-warming duty, the sheer weight of depth of the bench was always going to be tack in the arse. As the half deepened, the Ranger's defense held steady but it felt like only a matter of time that a Scotch breakthrough would come. Rowland and Petrakos were having solid games, but getting the ball and keeping it down the other end was proving difficult.
In what must've been the umpteenth time in about 10 minutes, Rangers managed to scramble the ball to safety. It wasn't until the last 5 or so minutes, that aided by the wind, and with a real sniff that Scotch were rewarded for their persistence for the opener.
Shots rang in from high and wide, unfortunately mostly from Scotch, who were getting excited now. Tim and co were using up plenty of juice in retrieving the errant footballs from the nearby quarry, and in turn taking their sweet time in resuming play in an attempt to drain the clock.
Well on top, Scotch helped themselves to another uncontested goal kick, pushed the ball wide and found themselves with a handy overlap. Slow as a wet fortnight, Rangers couldn't respond in time and Tim found himself diving after a long range thunderbolt that hit the top corner. 2 nil right on the stroke of halftime.
In a game of two halves, Rangers didn't show anywhere near as much gusto as they did in the first half. Minus the suspended Tim C and Jeremy, who failed a late fitness test, the lads simply didn't have enough in the tank without a bench.
On top of that, what we didn't need was injuries and running repairs to Rich (gout) and Tim in goals (golf ball on the kneecap) didn't help matters any as they struggled to see out the game. Ed, Alex B and Rod had dirty days too, struggling to get into the contest as even the portly Scotch midfielder with a disturbing camel toe had a better time of it!
The wheels then really fell off when Rowland called 'keeper' on Tim's behalf and forgot to remind Tim. That was embarrassing. However Rangers then went one better when Tim actually did call 'keeper' and didn't bother to follow through with the collect. 2 of the best.
It really didn't get much simpler than that, as Scotch weren't made to work as hard as they really should've by a team that seemingly put the cue in the rack at halftime. A couple more went in but i was too busy writing this.....
Best: Ian/Rueben
The Rest: Alex, Rich
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