Match Report: Thirds Vs Monash Uni

Sunday 22nd July 2012, Monash University Clayton
Monash Uni 2 - Central Park 1

The sounds of silence.

Not even 17 plates of Stu's finely sliced citrus Navel's would be inspiring enough to get the boys up this week in a performance that was more worthy of having tomato's thrown at them at half time, not oranges.

It was not unreasonable to pencil in a win here against a youthful opponent, as the round 1 clash netted a 4 nil sch lacking in Central Park's favor. Clearly much has shifted for the Alumni of Monash, upsetting previously unbeaten RMIT Uni a fortnight earlier to claim 'frat house' bragging rights. They say you have to crawl before you can walk, and it was Monash that showed they've clearly gone from nappies to pullups as Central Park put in a stinker.

That said, Monash Uni thoroughly deserved their win on a day Central Park were about as vocal as a Malaysian exchange student in study mode. Some new faces aided the Monash cause, adding speed and better ball movement not previously seen. Of particular note was the pint sized winger who terrorized the left flank keeping John busy, who did an admirable job against a more zippy opponent. But Central Park, who scrambled to get 11 on the pitch by kickoff, were sluggish from the outset, which spelt trouble against the switched on Monash.

(did a pin drop? : Central Park's lack of voice proved costly)

Another notoriously slow start was proving to be the culprit, the boys moving at snail's pace to react to 50/50's and aerial contests. The real problem however, seemed to be the lack of talk. Time and again, communication that would make a pantomime proud was the order of the day - conversely, the gaggle of the Monash babes made more sense and reaped the rewards.
The first half was a landslide, Central Park camped in their own half for the first 20 minutes, and it was only a free kick that offered the lads some respite and an opportunity to surge forward. Tim C was his usual busy self, even if he had an off day by his lofty standards. Eventually, some moments of 'last time round' did present themselves, Monash coughing the ball up at critical times, but Central Park unable to capitalise on the opportunities, Rich O and Gaz going close a couple of times.

An umpteenth break down the flank opened space for the Monash winger's best chance of the match and he finished soundly firing the ball past a hapless Tim for the opener. As rumblings of an upset made it's way through the campus grapevine, Central Park sprung into action. Colin putting in his best performance seen this season in steering the tide back Central Park's way. Slick passing that the boys have become accustomed to was finally emerging from it's slumber, much like the occupants of the adjacent student villa's at such an ungodly hour of 1.30pm. John finally got his chance to play the ball rather than chase it, an audacious barrel from halfway denied only by Richie Cunningham in goals. A meagre 5ft tall in stilettos, the Monash no. 1 had a much improved performance on last time where his height was exploited more than once. Another fine save by Cunningham to deny Rich on the halftime whistle was a pivotal moment in maintaining their lead.

(Happy Days: Monash have acquired the goalkeeping services of childhood star Ron Howard)

At halftime, a somewhat stunned Central Park sucked oranges back with little to say - probably a fitting analogy of the contest thus far.

Meanwhile a buoyant Monash Uni would be overhead more than once churning out the cliched "they don't want it!". Perhaps they were right?

Central Park recommenced with more energy in the knowing that an equaliser would likely bring the boys to life and give Monash the jitters. Rod and Steve attempted to get the momentum flowing with hardness and vigour and for periods of time the lads responded. George, his usual creative self started to find space for the likes of Stu who tracked the ball as closely as his opponent, and Niall finding his rhythm amid the sea of unknown allies. It was Monash that held their nerve though, and seemed unbreakable despite being well pressed. It was only their Achilles heel - corners - that seemed likely to bring the homeside undone. Central Park's height was a clear advantage in these situations, though on this occasion it was a perfect corner from Lars who, deliberately or not, weaved the ball over Cunningham's size handicap for the equaliser. A lucky goal and the injection of the ever creative hoop-socked Shane, should've been enough to snap the boys into action and go on with it.

Again though, the Burke roaders would have a lapse in concentration not two minutes later, and the dreaded communication breakdown proved to be the difference. A lifeless freekick would hang in the air, as cries of "keepers ball!" came strong and loud (finally some talk!). The only trouble was someone forgot to tell Tim in goals it was his. Well out of position (now that much he did truly ballz up!), a floating Monash midfielder couldn't believe his luck, and was rewarded for the chase, and headed home a second goal uncontested into a vacant net.

With this well and truly knocking the stuffing out a disappointing Central Park, the last 15 minutes would see them doing what they seemed to for most of the match - play catchup football like a desperate side consisting of not much more than long balls into the Monash half in the hope of a second goal.

This wasn't to be, and a stinging loss to endure given the sides quest to pick up winnable games in lieu of this seasons FFV 'donations'.

The three P's (i'm just making this up now), Panic, Patience & Persistence proved to be a tack in the Central Park arse. The lads showed plenty of the first and very little of the other two. 13 College drop outs, and a big fat 'F' for Central Park.


Best: Colin
The Rest: Rod, George, Rich O, John